Mentality's Hold
by AutumnCaskette
Summary: G1. Starscream falls deeper into the realm of insanity, becoming a threat to himself and his fellow Decepticons. In an act nearing desperation, he is sent to an asylum, but the condition grows worse. Megatron must decide whether he's too unstable to live.
1. Chapter 1 Marvel

This is the same fic it always was; I just revamped it. There will be new scenes, but (probably) no new twists.

In case you didn't notice at first glance, I have changed my username to AutumnCaskette. This is so it will match my deviantart and my email. I have seperate devArt accounts for fanfics and for poetry/art. The poetry/art account is still NonplusGray.

Also, if you've checked my page recently, you know that all my fics have been deleted. Mentality's Hold, Darling Anathema, and Tactless will be reposted weekly. The other ones will not. Check my page for more information and my reasoning behind it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Transformers, neither do I wish to because everything I own seems to die (i.e. my goldfish), and I figure Starscream dies enough on his own without my help.

Also, because there seem to be conflicting definitions of 'cycle', keep in mind that I use 'cycle' to mean 'day'.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_It wasn't that the blackness worried him; there was nothing threatening or ominous in its nature. His only sense of anxiety was born from the fact that there was nothing beyond the blackness, and the solitude was disconcerting. As far as he could tell, he was alone and eerily weightless._

_Starscream sighed. He had been here before, many times, but mostly when he recharged. This time, well… last he remembered he had been flying. "If I crash I'm going to be supremely annoyed," he informed the void, darkly. The blackness answered with its usual silence. Starscream scoffed. "Yeah, I hate you too." He transformed into his mech form, crossed his arms petulantly, and waited._

_The blackouts had been occurring since long before he had come to earth. Normally they let up within a few hours, but lately, and at very inopportune times (during battle for instance) they had nearly lasted an entire cycle. The Constructicons had attributed the instances to wounds sustained while fighting, possibly from a shortage of energon. Starscream seriously doubted it. He had been unconscious plenty of times before and certainly enough to tell the difference. In those times he had never been _aware_. It also didn't account for the times that he visited the void while he was in recharge mode. Then again, he had not notified the Constructicons of that little tidbit of information. _

_It wasn't as if he needed to give anyone any more reasons to label him insane._

"_**Why do they call you insane?**__"_

_Starscream straightened, optics widening slightly. _That _was new. He searched his memory banks, but it was unnecessary. He had never heard that voice before. A few moments passed in surprised silence before the seeker tried to speak. "Who are you?" he managed dubiously, feeling slightly foolish as he addressed the nothingness. The voice seemed to be coming from all around him, and it was impossible to pinpoint the owner's location. Not that it mattered, really. Starscream had yet to figure out how to move in any particular direction while in his present state._

"_**I do not wish to answer that question.**__"_

"_Too bad. I want to know." Starscream's voice adopted its usual brand of terse arrogance, but he suspected that it was a charade easily seen through. _

"_**I do not wish to answer that question.**__" _

_The seeker laughed shakily. "Tiny bit redundant don't you think?" On the inside Starscream was beginning to panic. He really was hearing voices this time. "Listen…" he started, aiming for calm. "You're in my head, so why don't you just go back to the hellhole from whence you came?"_

"_**I cannot leave. Why do they call you insane?**__"_

"_Well, _you_ would be a perfect example." Starscream's body grew taut with frustration. "And what do you mean you can't leave?" he demanded, searching the blackness for a figure to focus on. "This is in my head. If I want you to leave, then I can make you leave!" _

_Seeking to rise to his own challenge, Starscream concentrated, focusing all of his will power on sending himself back to reality. He thought that he could feel some of the darkness lift…_

"**I**_** am why they call you insane?**__" came the almost inquisitive response._

"_Slag."_

_The seeker darkened his optics, and fought to redirect his thoughts. He would just ignore the voice until he regained consciousness._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Screamer? Hey…. _Screamer_… Wake up!"

Starscream stirred groggily. "Skywarp?"

"About slagging time…"

Starscream shook his head, trying to clear his bleary sight. A distorted array of colors came into his field of vision, dominated by his wingmate's face. "Why do I feel like a mountain fell on me?"

"It didn't fall on you so much as… you kind of flew into it." Skywarp flashed a winning smile. "That was the most spectacular nosedive I've seen in ages."

"Don't make me shoot you," Starscream grumbled as he tried to stand and promptly fell. It was then that he wondered how long he had been in the blackness. He had left the base with Skywarp and Thundercracker just after sunrise, yet from the sun's position in the earth's sky the seeker judged it to be around noon. His temper flared when he realized his chronometer was still malfunctioning due to his time in the void.

"Phshh. Right now you couldn't even shoot yourself, let alone me." Skywarp's optics darted to the cloudless sky above them. "Thundercracker's on his way back to base to get the Constructicons. He didn't think that we should risk moving you so…" He shrugged in a way that would have been apologetic if he had been another mech.

"I can make it back by myself,"

The purple seeker tilted his head, considering him. "Uh… No, you can't."

Starscream glared, his optics brightening. There was a soft hum from his null rays.

"But then again, what do I know?" Skywarp amended, arms raised in a calming gesture.

Starscream rose to his feet unsteadily and transformed before his legs had a chance to fail him. The instantaneous rush of cold air drove away the last of the fog from his mind. He faintly registered Skywarp's presence behind him and sped up, gaining altitude. He detested appearing weak, even in front of one of his wingmates.

Opening a comlink, he sent a transmission to Thundercracker saying that they were heading back to base and there was no need to tell anyone what had happened. Starscream assured himself that he had imagined the dry chuckle in his mind.

_Am I really insane? _he wondered as he hurried to block out the soft laugh. A lot of things had happened in his lifetime, and there had been moments when he had been unbelievably close to breaking down, but now that he was presented with possible proof… It wasn't something that he wanted to think about. He had gotten so used to people selling out his ambition as madness that it came as a jolt to realize there might have been some truth in it. There was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind, however, that made him recognize he was not as surprised as he should have been.

"Hey, Screamer?" Skywarp pulled forward next to him. "What happened back there? I mean… you just fell."

"It's nothing to worry about. I'm fine now." He wasn't particularly sure why he wasn't telling Skywarp the truth, but it might have had something to do with the fact that secrets didn't stay secrets very long when Skywarp found out.

Skywarp transformed and blocked his path, arms crossed, optics narrowed. "Fine _now_? So you admit something was wrong before."

With an impatient growl, Starscream swerved around the mech and kept flying. "It was nothing, Skywarp."

Skywarp teleported back in front of his wingmate with tenacity befitting a sparkling. "Yeah, well, _nothing_ almost got you killed."

"Ah, too bad. I'm sure that would have given Megatron a lovely excuse to throw a party."

"Come on, Screamer…" the teleport protested. "You know what happened, why won't you tell me?"

"_I don't know what happened!_" Starscream snapped, voice much harsher than he had intended. He forced his tone down a few decibels. "I just… blacked out, that's all."

Skywarp laughed humorlessly. "I'm shocked. I do believe that is this is the first time you have failed miserably at lying."

Starscream groaned, giving up on intimidation entirely. "Listen Skywarp, all I want to do is get back to base, recharge for a couple of hours−,"

"−and get drunk right?"

"Yes. Drunk would be nice."

Skywarp stared at the immobile jet for a few seconds, as if sizing him up, and then transformed back into his own jet mode. "Then let's get home, because I wholeheartedly agree with that proposal."

The rest off the journey was completed in relative silence.

The silence was relative because of the frequent but faint whispers that wove their way through Starscream's mind, so faint that he could still manage a strong state of denial.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Soundwave shuffled through the datapads, positive that Rumble had simply thrown the roster in the pile instead of turning it in like he said he had. _I must remember to speak to him about this…_ he thought when he recognized the roster's standard orange screen. He reached toward it and froze.

A shimmer of foreign energyhad flicked warily across his telepathy. The communications officer turned back towards the hall, perturbed.

A little ways down he saw a group of seekers turn the corner in the opposite direction from him. There were no other mechs in the area, so it was likely that the signal had come from one of them. He sent out a tendril of his telepathy towards the group. Maybe if he could sense their thoughts…

"_**Get out.**__" _

Soundwave raised his hand to his head in shock. That voice didn't belong to any of the cassettes, and the seekers shouldn't have been able to speak to him using that method; they shouldn't have even realized he was reading them.

"_**Get out!**__"_

It was a few seconds before his systems warned him of the approaching onslaught of energy. He pulled back his network from the group, but not before a portion of the force hit him. Soundwave crumpled. _There is something…wrong… with one of the seekers, _he thought weakly.His optics dimmed, and brightened, and dimmed again before he succumbed to unconsciousness.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream sat up with a jolt. "What the slag? Where am I?" The sudden sensation of reality nearly caused him to lose his balance, and his hands shot out to catch himself on the bar. The air commander surveyed the scene around him skeptically. He seemed to be doing this a lot lately.

Skywarp slapped him on the back, oblivious to his wingmate's precarious position on his stool. "You're in the mess hall, remarkably with energon cube still in hand." Grinning he raised his own cube in a mock toast.

Starscream looked at Skywarp squarely, confused and none too happy about it. "Why?" he managed dryly.

"You… uh… _blacked out _again." Skywarp put a grudging accent on the words, clearly still bitter that Starscream was concealing something from him.

Starscream looked down at his energon cube, optics narrowed. He didn't remember anything. He searched his mind, trying to focus on every minute detail. He could recall the flight back to base, signing the datapad saying that he had returned without incident, and traversing the halls on the way to his present location. He vaguely remembered sitting down and Skywarp handing him an energon cube, but that was all. His cube had been full, and now it was half-empty; there had been a time lapse. "How much did I drink?" he asked carefully.

The other seeker shook his head. "Not enough to knock you out, if that's what you're thinking."

He thought hard, but he couldn't remember being in the blackness. If he hadn't been in the void, what had happened?

"How long was I out?"

"Couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but Screamer…_ you were out._ I had to half carry you to a seat. It was very awkward, mind you, and I seriously considered making you pay for it." A pout crossed the teleport's features. "Many pranks went through my mind, but none of them seemed good enough." He mimed looking crestfallen.

"Oy!"

A flurry of footsteps became audible from the corridor outside the mess hall. Starscream and Skywarp turned to look behind them towards the entrance of the room, as did a wide majority of the other occupants (minus those who had drunk themselves into indifference). Ramjet was standing on the threshold. He looked mildly irritated.

The flier paused, hand on the doorframe. "Has anyone seen any of the Constructicons?"

Hook and Scrapper stood up from a table in the corner of the room. They too looked mildly irritated, but they always did.

"What's wrong?" Hook asked without interest.

"I, uh, just found Soundwave unconscious in one of the hallways." He shrugged. "Thought you guys might want to know."

Starscream shuddered. A laugh resonated in his mind, so loud he wondered why no one else reacted. "Stop…" He clutched at his head.

"Starscream?" Skywarp reached out to him tentatively.

The seeker fell sideways and hit the floor.

"_Starscream!_"

He felt Skywarp kneel beside him and could see through blurred optics that the rest of the room had turned their attention from Ramjet to him. A shudder ran through the fallen seeker's body. His optics flashed strangely and slowly turned to focus on the teleport, looking at once sickly and detached. "**I marvel at your concern,**" the voice whispered despairingly. This time however, the words had come from Starscream's mouth, and he could tell by the look on everyone's face that he wasn't the only one that heard it.


	2. Chapter 2 Puppet

Many thanks to Meowsap and EeriIri, my lovely betas!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Skywarp stared down at Starscream's rigid form, not quite able to grasp what had happened. One moment the air commander had been sitting next to him, and the next he was on the floor. The teleport tilted his head as Starscream spoke, frowning. His voice was strange. It was smoother, lower, and less harsh. He reached out towards his wingmate in confusion. "Screamer…? What…?"

Starscream shied away from the touch, jolting into a crouching position. His stance was wary, his optics fluctuating.

"Slag! What a freak show…" Rumble was doubled over with maniacal and unrestricted laughter. His energon cube fell out of his hand and spattered on the floor.

Starscream's optics brightened, and for the first time Skywarp noticed that they were no longer red, but green. "**Pardon?**" The air commander straightened, gazing fixedly at Rumble.

Rumble let out another spasm of laughter. "I said _freak show_."

The barrels of Starscream's null rays lit up and fired a blast at the small mech before anyone had time to shout out a warning.

Skywarp smiled. Bar brawls were fun. He turned to Starscream, fully intending to congratulate him on his joke, but a halting gasp made him look behind. Rumble was on his knees, spluttering, a trail of energon running down the corner of his mouth. The cassette's hands were clutching a gaping hole in his chest, his fingers wet with the fluorescent lifeblood. It was then Skywarp realized that there was no way in hell Starscream's null rays were set on stun.

A humming sound filled the temporary silence. The air commander was charging his weapons, unprovoked.

Skywarp's optics dimmed in confusion as he turned to face Starscream. His spark missed a pulse, and he froze. The soft glow of the null rays was now directed at him.

A smile of pure malice contorted the seeker's pale face.

Skywarp took a step backwards, his body comprehending was his mind could not. "Starscream, what the _slag_ are you doing?"

His startled question was answered with laserfire. The teleport was stunned. He hadn't thought that Screamer would actually shoot, and now it was too late to maneuver out of the way. Skywarp had resigned himself to taking the shot, when a firm grip clasped one of his wings and pulled him backwards. As a result, the blast merely grazed his shoulder. Even with that slight brush of contact, Skywarp could tell that the wound was extensive. He turned quickly to see who his benefactor was, not really wanting let Starscream out of his sight for more than a few seconds.

Thundercracker didn't meet Skywarp's optics. He was focused entirely on their rogue wingmate. "Aren't we a little low on personnel to be killing?" he asked dryly.

Skywarp laughed uncertainly. "Be serious, TC… Starscream wouldn't _kill_ one of us! He's just… a little more violent than usual."

The blue seeker's optics narrowed. "Says the mech who just got shot at with null rays on their highest setting."

"**You were not meant to move. Please stand your ground.**" Starscream leveled his weapons, face expressionless.

"Is he kidding? He wants me to _let_ him shoot us? Ha." Thundercracker leapt forward and rammed into Starscream's shoulder, sending his newest shot astray into the growing crowd of spectators. It caught Ravage in the side, sending the black mech skidding.

A slow smile manipulated Starscream's lips; he looked almost pleased.

This gave Thundercracker pause, but a retaliatory punch landed caught him in the chest before he could consider it. He fell backwards, slightly confused. That punch felt different than normal. The fist was shaped differently, and the strike didn't match the air commander's usual style.

Starscream pinned his wingmate to the ground, aiming at his head. The glow gave the seeker's face a brief purple sheen.

With extreme difficulty Thundercracker managed to lift one of his legs and kick the air commander off of him. Starscream adjusted his sights to account for TC's standing position, and it was then that Thundercracker thought he noticed a connection. If he dodged this shot, the blast would hit someone in the crowd… and if he remembered right, Frenzy had been just over his shoulder…

Soundwave unconscious in the hall, Rumble and Ravage shot… Was he targeting the telepaths? His null rays would definitely be lethal if they hit any vital systems.

A shriek dragged him back to reality.

Starscream's form grew still. His optics grayed slowly, his null rays darkening with them. He took a halting step forward, and then fell in an almost graceful arc, his back smoking.

Behind him stood Megatron, fusion cannon still raised, looking less than pleased.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Starscream had been in the void for only a few minutes, but was already bored out of his mind. "Or _in_ my mind, technically…" he muttered to himself. He wondered if Skywarp would make good on his pranks this time. "If he does, I'll kill him," the seeker decided bitterly._

"_**He shot me.**__"_

"_Who? I want to send them flowers." Starscream didn't even look up when he heard the voice. He had expected it to come eventually._

"_**Him.**__" The voice's normally bland tone was shaking, angry. "__**The one we hate. The one we must terminate. He shot me.**__"_

_Hoping against hope that by 'we' he only meant the two of them, Starscream said "I don't know about you, but I hate a lot of people. Let's try a name shall we?" _

"_**Megatron.**__"_

_Starscream sat bolt upright. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, are we dead?" He knew from experience that unless you were Prime, you only survived Megatron's shots if he wanted you to. The seeker paused in his panic. "Wait a second… Why did he shoot us? I mean shoot _you_?"_

"_**I… temporarily let my guard down. I did not foresee his interference.**__"_

"_Yeah, that's yet another thing I hate about him." Starscream shook his head, and then he realized what the voice's words implied. "No…" he murmured in sudden horror. "You… you were on the outside? You saw Megatron? You…" He broke off, fighting to come to terms with the depth of that information. "You left the void? How? This is in my head!" He tapped his temple. The seeker's voice was becoming steadily more hysterical. He had been possessed, puppeted, and _hehad not even noticed_. _

"_**I may leave when I choose.**__"_

"_The slag you can!" he shrieked. "I am _no one's_ little marionette!" He could accept being insane; what he could not accept was someone controlling him. It was unthinkable. If Starscream could have viciously murdered the voice he would have. And then he would have cut up any body there might have been into tiny pieces and thrown them into the upper atmosphere, but sadly…_

"_**I'm afraid that you lost all say in the matter when you created me.**__"_

"_Yeah, well I _un_create you!" he snapped viciously. "And I sincerely deny creating you in the first place. I'm not the kind of mech that makes up voices to have random arguments with. That's what I have Skywarp for." On a preconscious level, Starscream knew that he was babbling, but that's what he did when he was on the edge of true panic. It also put off the time when he would eventually have to think about what was happening to him. This was a habit that earned him a cold shoulder from his wingmates, and beatings from Megatron, but in the present situation, it seemed entirely appropriate. _

_Starscream stopped talking, abruptly. He could feel a pulling sensation in his spark…_

"_**I will see you soon. They are pulling you away from me.**__"_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Soundwave watched in silence as the traitorous seeker's optics lit up dimly, as if in a daze. In contrast, Megatron's red optics glowed stronger. The communications officer did not envy Starscream's luck at the moment. Across from Soundwave and Megatron, Skywarp and Thundercracker looked torn between being relieved that their wingmate had awoken and extreme guardedness.

Starscream stirred and sat up groggily.

At that movement Soundwave thought he could sense an after image, as though part of the air commander had stayed in recharge. This confirmed it. Starscream must have been the seeker who had given off the strange energy signature, the one who had been able to use telepathy against him. Against _him_! But this simply was not logical. Starscream had never shown any clairvoyant abilities in past… Why now? Soundwave knew a possible reason, but he'd need a specialist to be able to verify it. For the moment, perhaps mere observation would suffice.

"Explain yourself."

Starscream's head shot up at the sound, as if he had just become aware that he was not alone. Upon seeing that the speaker was Megatron, he laid back down and scowled. "Oh Primus, not _you_. Can't a mech have some peace while he's recovering?"

Skywarp and Thundercracker flinched. Soundwave didn't blame them. Now was not a time to practice insolence with their leader. Soundwave could feel the waves of hatred circulating between Megatron and his second, and could tell that it was taking a great deal of self-control for Megatron not to simply shoot and handle the fallout later.

"You can either explain yourself now, or I can just assume you've committed treason as per usual. In my present mood, the latter does not assure your recovery. Which would you prefer?" Megatron's voice was deadly soft. His optics glowed a fraction brighter.

Skywarp whispered something to Starscream that would have been inaudible to most mechs, but Soundwave understood. "Choose 'explain yourself'."

Starscream crossed his arms, looking sulky, and asked "What exactly am I explaining?"

Soundwave answered first. "You nearly fatally wounded Rumble and Ravage, and from countless accounts, I understand that you were also trying to deactivate your wingmates." Anger began to take its course through Soundwave's body. Two of his cassettes had almost died, and he had been unconscious, completely powerless to stop it. If his suspicions were correct, the seeker was responsible for that as well.

"I… What?" Starscream turned to look at Thundercracker and Skywarp, searching for confirmation. At their silence he turned back to Megatron. "I have no explanation," he said evenly. "I… I don't even remember." He averted his optics. Soundwave could tell that the air commander knew he sounded ridiculous.

Megatron sneered. "Typical. Always so eager to revolt, but when you fail… you become the very picture of modesty."

Starscream jerked back, ready to retort.

"Silence! Do not say a word…" Megatron clenched his teeth. "I don't know what possessed you," for some reason Starscream shifted uncomfortably at those words, "to spontaneously attack your comrades, but I was told that with the exception of a few smart words from Rumble, it was unprovoked."

Starscream snarled and sliced the air with his arm. "I already told you! I don't know what the slag happened!"

Megatron raised his voice to drown out the seeker's. "I might believe you if your track record didn't consist of assassination attempts on me, betrayals, and sabotages to numerous to count. But as things stand…"

"Sir?"

The group's attention swiveled to Skywarp, who looked momentarily shocked at his own daring. "Um… well… Starscream might actually be telling the truth…"

Megatron laughed coldly, skepticism etched in his ivory features. "How so?"

"Well you see, lately Starscream's—"

"Skywarp, don't!" Starscream's interrupted, optics widening. "Stop," he hissed. It was if a private understanding traveled between them, as if some trust was being violated.

Megatron smirked. "Interesting..." He motioned for Skywarp to continue.

Skywarp paused, unsure if he should go on. Thundercracker nudged him and nodded. He looked apologetically down at Starscream. "Sorry Screamer… but I think it might keep you alive." He turned fully to Megatron. "He's been having these blackouts, sir… well at least he calls them blackouts…"

"I already know this. The Constructicons informed me as they have the potential to interfere in battle."

Skywarp looked taken aback but picked himself up in admirable time considering the circumstances. "He doesn't have any control over them, they've been happening at random. Actually, one happened when we were flying earlier. It made him crash… and in the mess hall… it happened again right before he started shooting."

Soundwave considered. If Starscream had been in that group of seekers in the hall, then the air commander's blackout would have coincided very closely with whatever had knocked him out.

"And…" Skywarp shifted his weight. "Thundercracker, didn't you notice his optics?"

Thundercracker looked incredulously at his wingmate. "Sorry, I must have been concentrating too hard on his guns."

"Well, they turned _green_," the teleport insisted. "And his voice was really different. Almost like it wasn't him…"

Starscream groaned. "This is _exactly _what I do not need…"

Soundwave would have read him again if he hadn't been worried about whatever had blocked him before. As a result, it was temporarily impossible to interpret the truth. "Lord Megatron?" he addressed quietly. "I believe that I may have some idea as to what has happened. I'll need to do some research to be sure, but if I'm correct… I think that it would be safest to confine Starscream to the base and relieve him of his weapons."

"What?! Like slag!" Starscream protested.

Megatron, his voice hinting that he enjoyed any discomfort at his second's expense replied, "I believe that is perfectly acceptable."


	3. Chapter 3 Talk

You know what I really hate

**Rest in Peace**

**Taylor Riles**

**December 20, 1989 – September 26, 2008**

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

He was _trying _to sulk, hopefully with a few breems of recharge here and there. The task would have been much easier to accomplish if he had been able to subdue his thoughts for any length of time. He couldn't.

Not only was he faced with an aspect of his psyche that he didn't understand, but he had been relieved of his weapons in a _Decepticon_ base. Starscream had enough threats on his life without his comrades possessing the knowledge that he was defenseless. His mind was not safe, and neither was his body. It seemed that in the past he had always been able to protect one or the other. Having both become endangered was not an experience he was thrilled to have.

"So are you going to pout in here for the rest of your life, or what?" a voice asked from the doorway.

Starscream growled and rolled over. "Leave me alone Skywarp. I'm busy imagining intricately painful methods of deactivating our 'leader'."

The teleport sighed. "Well, what would you have done in his place?" Skywarp sat down beside his wingmate on the recharge berth, arms crossed and looking tense. He avoided meeting Starscream's optics. "You started shooting up his soldiers, and considering your record…" His voice trailed off.

"It's not like I had any control over−" Starscream cut off his sentence and mentally chastised himself. Skywarp had already proven that he wouldn't hesitate to inform Megatron of his mental state. He had to be careful how much he divulged.

"What is with you?" Skywarp stood angrily arms outstretched in a pose that was at once frustrated and beseeching. "I understand not confiding in Megatron. I do. I think you're a fool for not wanting to do whatever it takes to help yourself, but I understand." He took a step forward. "But keeping this from me and Thundercracker? When you black out in battle, it puts _us_ in jeopardy too. And even if that wasn't the case — even if an explanation _wasn't_ necessary — what the slag is stopping you from trusting us? Trusting me…" His optics dimmed slightly.

"I…" Starscream's body stiffened, and he shut off his optics. "Just let it go, Skywarp."

"Let it go?" He gaped at Starscream in disbelief. "Not only have these episodes nearly killed _you_, not only could they put your wingmates in danger, but…" A mixture of resentment and confusion weighed heavily on his spark. He spoke quietly, his voice shaking. "You almost killed me yourself, Screamer. If Thundercracker hadn't been there… I'd be dead. Don't I deserve an explanation?"

Whether it was because of his own anger or Starscream's silence, Skywarp turned and left the room, the door hissing shut behind him.

_**Very good. The fool would never understand us.**_ Starscream shook his head furiously, trying to rid himself of the static and cold that always accompanied the voice. "You'd be surprised," he whispered.

He felt the static of the void call to him and, assured that Skywarp would not be returning, succumbed to it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Soundwave sat in front of the screen, considering his options. If he contacted any of his Decepticon associates, he ran the risk of an information leak. Such a possibility normally wouldn't have bothered him, but seeing as to how Starscream was second in command of the entire empire…

The aftereffects could be disastrous, especially if word reached the troops on earth. This meant that he had very few mechs to choose from. Soundwave only had one Neutral contact, and calling on him would be extremely presumptuous. Starscream would surely feel that his fate had already been decided. It was highly possible that extra anxiety would serve to promote Starscream's… condition. However, there seemed to be no other alternatives. Starscream would just have to exercise his irritating ability to persevere.

Soundwave typed in the contact code and waited. He almost hoped that the mech was with a patient, and would thereby save him the stress of explaining the necessity to Megatron.

A mech's face appeared on the screen, looking momentarily disgruntled before a grin spread across his features. "Soundwave? It's been a while."

"I have no time for niceties, Asylink." Soundwave continued before he could be interrupted. "I have a situation, one that falls into your area of expertise."

Orange optics widened. "Don't tell me your tyrant has finally lost it."

"_Megatron_ is not the problem… the issue falls with Starscream." Soundwave explained the wave of telepathic energy that had knocked him unconscious and how the air commander had turned on his comrades. "He has disabled two of my cassettes and avoids me at all costs. Even his wingmates have no notion as to what might be happening. He claims memory loss, and one seeker noticed a definite change in persona. I sincerely doubt that he will become more cooperative as time progresses, which is why I have chosen to contact an outside party."

"A delicate situation, to be sure… but why not simply read him yourself?" The psychologist's voice was puzzled. "Why bother even consulting me? Any clairvoyant capabilities I have are dwarfed in comparison to yours. I don't see how I could be useful, unless…" Asylink studied Soundwave carefully and cautiously. "You think he's Doublesparked himself." When Soundwave did not contradict him, Asylink said "There are less _drastic_ explanations…"

The telepath bowed his head. "That is why I would like for you to solicit an evaluation."

Asylink laughed. "Me? And who do you propose I leave in control of the establishment? Crow's a mute, and he hates the personnel. Crank… is admittedly wasted nine tenths of the time." He shook his head. "Sorry, but no can do."

Soundwave pondered a moment. "Think about it, Asylink… Starscream is second in command of the Decepticon Empire. This information will be highly classified. You could be the only mech in your field to ever know."

Asylink shook his head, amused. "If you are trying to invoke my professional interest… you're exceptionally good at it. But I still can't leave the hospital. I don't want to return home to a war zone. No offense."

Soundwave ignored the last comment. "I'm sure Crank would be perfectly responsible if you offered him a large pay raise. As for Crow, you can bring him with you. He's around the cassette's age isn't he?"

"A little younger, but around the same size…" He looked flustered. "I'm still not−"

Soundwave cut him off. "Good. I will expect you both at the space bridge in the morning." He ended the transmission.

Back on Cybertron, Asylink stared at the blank screen with a melding of exasperation and amusement before calling over his shoulder. "Crow? I do believe that we've been recruited for a road trip."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Megatron stared impatiently at the portal, arms crossed. "Who exactly are we waiting for? You informed me that he was a psychologist, but you neglected to clarify."

"His name is Asylink. He's the Neutral that runs Dire on Cybertron."

"Dire? As in the asylum?" He thought of Starscream and smirked. "I might enjoy this."

"Yes." Soundwave agreed dryly. He paused as the space bridge activated, whirring and spinning with an array of lights. "This should be him now."

A few seconds later, a mech appeared in the center of the now motionless and dim gateway.

Asylink looked over his shoulder and sighed as he recalled the look of roguish glee on Crank's face when he'd left him in charge. "I hate my luck," he muttered. "Maybe I should have brought the keys with me…"

"Asylink." Soundwave motioned the Neutral towards him. Asylink's shoulders dipped in acceptance, and he began to make his way to the pair of Decepticons. A small black mech followed solemnly at the psychologist's side. "We should be heading back to the base as soon as possible." Soundwave looked sidelong at the white Decepticon standing next to him. "This is Lord Megatron."

Asylink studied Megatron's scowl with professional interest. "You look rather stressed… If you'd like, I could elicit an evaluation for you as well."

Soundwave winced beneath his mask as he took a quick reading of Megatron's thoughts.

_Don't shoot him and_ don't_ kill him. _Megatron clenched his teeth and forced himself to keep his arm down. It felt not unlike swallowing acid. This mech was the closest thing they could get to a specialist, and it would prove a nuisance to try and replace him. But would it be worth it? He saved that thought for later. "Soundwave tells me that you have the knowledge needed to diagnose my air commander."

"I do," he confirmed with a smile. "What made him crack anyway? I've always heard rumors about your second's sanity, but in all honesty it was you that I was worried about."

Soundwave searched for something to interrupt what had the potential to be a sensitive subject. His optics fell on the minute mech that stood stoically beside Asylink. "Is this Crow?"

"Eh?" Asylink turned his attention to the communications officer and then looked down. "Oh, yeah that's him."

"Good. Then if our introductions are over, I suggest that we be on our way."

0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0

Skywarp sat alone in one of the many corridors of the Nemesis, laboring under conflicting emotions. If whatever was wrong with Starscream was ominous enough that he couldn't tell his wingmates, then it was serious. Skywarp wanted to help, but Starscream was so impossible that he almost felt a vengeful desire to leave him on his own. That was wrong. Wingmates never abandoned each other. Thundercracker had told him to give Screamer some time to think, but patience was a scarce virtue in Skywarp's mind; he wanted to do something _now_. He growled. Why did Starscream have to be so damnably stubborn?

A patient voice interrupted his thoughts. "Warp?"

Skywarp straightened in surprise but didn't meet Thundercracker's optics, slightly ashamed that he had truly been considering abandoning Starscream.

"Oh, quit your brooding," the blue seeker rebuked. "Screamer will come around. He always has." Thundercracker slumped against the wall to sit next to Skywarp. "Just let it go for a while. Taking the silence personally and acting like an offended glitch will only drive him farther away. He needs to know that we support him. Primus knows no one else in this place does."

Skywarp nodded vaguely. The other Decepticons rarely acknowledged any comrade's dilemma, and Starscream in particular was the subject of an all-inclusive disregard. "But he trusts us, right?"

"Of course he does…" Thundercracker looked distant, choosing his words carefully. He spoke slowly. "There must be a great deal of stigma surrounding whatever is happening to him. He's probably worried that the truth will create a fissure between us, or that our opinion of him will change."

Skywarp looked indignant. "Change our opinion of him? It's not like he's got the greatest reputation in the universe, anyway. He can't possibly get any worse. And even if it _did_ end up being something that altering, we've been wingmates for too long to be surprised by each other. There's nothing that could 'create a fissure' that hasn't already happen once or twice or eight times."

Thundercracker was about to give a chiding response, but he was interrupted by a hiss from the end of the hallway. The two seekers looked up to see who had been intruding on their privacy.

The doors parted to reveal Starscream, his face cast downwards, looking shaken. "I…"

"Been listening in?" Skywarp asked coldly.

Thundercracker gave Skywarp an exasperated look. Hadn't he just been saying that he wanted Screamer to talk to them?

"I… I did listen, but… that's not why I came." He looked up and then immediately looked to the side, avoiding any optic contact. "We," he sighed as if stealing himself for something. "We need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4 Evaluate

Sorry it took so long to update. I've had a lot going on irl.

In case I hadn't mentioned it before, the main pairing in this fic is Starscream/Megatron, but it takes a while to get to that point. I'm a firm believer in Transformers being genderless (especially after reading that IDW bit where Arcee revealed that the femmes where originally mechs that Shockwave did experiments on 'cause he was interested in organics), but if you ever want to flame me for slash, be my guest.

Also, I've recently become obsessed with Red vs Blue. ZOMG I love it. I will be writing fanfiction for it soon. My rl friend David (his username is DCO on this site; check him out) got me into it. All credit for the phenomenon that is me writing non-TF fanfiction goes to him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Silence stretched for an almost painful amount of time.

Once the three had made it back to the air commander's quarters, Starscream had started talking, convinced that the sooner he confessed, the less damage would be done. The moment he started to speak, the words came naturally. Despite this, his mind was numb… too numb to analyze precisely what he was saying, and thereby edit the content. Skywarp and Thundercracker got the truth… the complete truth.

The most noticeable reaction from the pair had come when he reached the subject of the voice. Starscream couldn't help but wish, after seeing their expressions, that he could take it all back or write it off as a joke.

No.

He wouldn't deny it. Not now. Skywarp was right… they had the right to know. Their lives were in jeopardy. Starscream forced himself to look away from the spot on the wall on which his optics had been latched and face his wingmates. He had done his part. Now it was their turn. _Primus, don't let this have been a mistake…_

Everything about Skywarp looked dazed except for his optics, which were calculating. Thundercracker had simply listened patiently without changing his facial expression. The latter shook his head as if to clear his mind and then said, "You should have told us sooner Starscream. This isn't something meant to be kept inside. We… maybe we could have stopped it from progressing this far."

"I wasn't sure about your reactions." Starscream eyed Skywarp warily. He had expected the teleport to be the first to speak, expected an outburst or at least _something_. His guarded silence was unnerving.

If Thundercracker noticed the other two's unease, he didn't show it. "How long have you been visiting the… you called it the void right?"

"Yes," Starscream confirmed without looking away from Skywarp. "I've been entering the void since two centuries after I joined the Decepticons."

Skywarp's head shot up. "You've been keeping it from us for that long? That's billions of years!"

Starscream looked defensive. "You don't understand. It only happened when I was in recharge back then. Think about it. Did I ever have these blackouts? I always just assumed they were dream episodes."

Thundercracker shook his head again. "Or they could have been mental byproducts from the war. A lot of mechs have psychotic breakdowns for a while after they sign up. Admittedly two centuries is a long grace period but not totally out of the question. Give him a break Skywarp. He couldn't have known it would turn into this."

The teleport gestured wildly at nothing. "I know! I know, okay? I just don't like knowing we keep this kind of thing a secret. And now that I _do_ know what's happening, there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it." Skywarp looked at Starscream a little grudgingly. "I've been a bastard about this situation, and I know it…"

The air commander shrugged. "Forget about it."

Thundercracker looked between the two and grinned slowly. "Aw… you're having a moment…"

Skywarp tackled him. Starscream didn't try to stop it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"This is all of it?" Asylink shuffled through the numerous datapads. The files ranged back over eleven centuries and came from facilities in at least seven different galaxies that stretched the corners of the Decepticon Empire to its limits. All in all, Asylink found it rather belittling. He'd seen large case files before, but Starscream's was a little extensive. He supposed that made sense, when one considered the seeker's nature.

Soundwave gave an affirmative. "That is everything that wasn't erased. I believe that you will find gaps in some of the larger documents… it appears that he kept some of the finer points in his history covered."

"Can you blame him?" the psychologist asked with a dry laugh. "As quickly as he rose through the ranks… not to mention how close he got to the almighty tyrant… Starscream probably didn't need things circulating in the media. I mean, there must be almost as many assassination attempts on him as there are on Megatron." Asylink shrugged his shoulders and stared fixedly down at the datapads.

Soundwave answered smoothly. "Seeing as to how _he caused_ most of Megatron's assassination attempts, I doubt it."

"Yeah, well… I suppose you want me to get a move on." Asylink looked around his feet. "Where's Crow?"

"Yes, please take him!" Frenzy stormed into the room, looking annoyed. He jabbed an accusing finger back towards the hall. "The guy's _crazy_! I mean yeah it was funny when I got him to slip that tablet into Hook's drink, but not when he ran off right afterwards and I got the blame! Painful blame too…" The cassette glared around the office as though searching for something to break or shoot. "I'm starting to think he really did know what he was doing. Spiteful little…"

The mech in question walked docilely into the room and took his place behind Asylink, looking the very picture of indifference. Asylink bent down to him. "Crow… did you get Frenzy in trouble?" Crow's optics lightened as he relayed his response via a complex sequence of hand signs. Asylink nodded and looked mildly amused. "It would seem, Frenzy, that you were trying to get Crow into trouble in the first place, so I think everything worked out satisfactorily." Frenzy crossed his arms, fuming, but was silent. "And now Crow and I have some work to do… I'll see you after the session is completed Soundwave."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream grumbled as he made his way towards the medical wing. In truth, he had no idea why he had been called to the area. He had been expecting a summons to Megatron's office, an accusation of treason, not a health trip. Besides… hadn't the Constructicons already told him that they could find no malfunctions? No irregular readings, no injuries, nothing at all abnormal…

And yet… Starscream knew that there had to be something wrong, somewhere. _They were looking in the wrong place, the problem isn't in my body, it's in my mind…_ He bit his tongue and the pain cut off his thoughts. The last thing he needed was to doubt himself. His only hope to get through this was to solve the problem on his own. He knew, beyond all bounds of certainty, that it all came down to him.

He stopped and raised his hand to type in an entrance code. It was unneeded. The door slid open to reveal a minute black mech, who stared up at him coldly. "Um… Who the slag are you?" Starscream asked evenly, without any real interest.

"His name's Crow. Now come in before he decides to lock you out. He can get quite moody." A blue and white mech appeared in the doorway and pushed Crow aside with his foot.

"And who the slag are _you_?" Starscream was beginning to feel set up, and his mind set and body had already answered in kind. He tensed, optics narrowed.

"Name's Asylink. Wait…" Asylink tilted his head slightly. "No one told you I was coming? How awkward…um… well, you see… Soundwave thought that an evaluation might be in order, so he called me in." The mech looked wary, having heard enough stories about Starscream's tantrums to know that he didn't want to be caught in one.

Starscream took a measured step toward Asylink, voice steady. "What _kind_ of evaluation?"

"A… err…" Asylink looked around uncomfortably. He felt a little too cornered.

"Excuse me?" Starscream asked sweetly, straightening. "I didn't catch that."

"A _mental_ evaluation." Asylink looked at the seeker squarely and was careful to enunciate.

"Ah. I see." To Asylink's surprise, Starscream merely nodded. "So when did they decide I finally needed to be committed?" His voice was casual and conversational, but Asylink's sensors picked up the traces of anger hidden beneath the surface.

Asylink smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, but probably betrayed his apprehension instead. "Now that's taking it to extremes. No one is suggesting that I take you back to Dire."

"Dire?" Starscream's voice was strained, the response too quick.

The psychologist eyed him curiously. The seeker's hands had gripped compulsively, his optics widened, his shoulder tilted back towards the door in a tell-tale wanting for escape: all signs of a sudden elevation of stress. "Have… have you visited my establishment before?" he asked carefully.

"I…" Starscream immediately relaxed, his fingers going slack. The action was measured, forced, fully advertising his ability to deceive. "No. I've only heard of it." The words were smooth, and the tenseness was gone, but that wasn't enough.

_Why does he feel the need to lie to me?_ For it would be obvious to any psychologist that the air commander _was_ lying. Asylink could tell from the darker shade of Crow's optics that the assistant had reached the same conclusion. "Well, then… I'm sure that the sooner we get started, the sooner I can clear your name. And… the sooner you can be put at ease."

Starscream glared at the Neutral and hissed, "Who says _I _need to be put at ease? It's _dear_ Lord Megatron who wants to be sure… how much is he offering you to lock me up?"

Asylink laughed warmly, but was shaken by how quick Starscream's mind had jumped to that conclusion. He wasn't and wouldn't accept any bribes. He never had. Well, not where a patient was concerned at least. He mentally made a note to bring up this area of mistrust in the future. He felt that it likely had a great deal to do with Starscream's condition. Considering the sort of stories the media had perpetuated about the two, Megatron might have _everything _to do with it. "I would never have someone taken to Dire unless I had recordable proof that they could no longer live without endangering themselves and others. And I am also a Neutral, and therefore have nothing to gain from your tyr−, from Megatron."

Starscream sneered. "That's alright. You can call him tyrant. I refer to him as much worse. Honestly, the term is comparably innocent."

Asylink looked bemused. "Sorry, but I do like my body in its current shape. And I'm not fond of being shot at so…" he paused. "By the way, please take note of that last part."

"Don't worry. Soundwave had all my weapons confiscated. Unless I intend to beat you to death with that chair, you can shoot me yourself before I do any damage." Starscream's voice had become light and airy, almost genial. He walked forward dropped into the chair in question, arms folded, and looking expectant.

_Note to self: bolt chairs to floor._ "Well I suppose that is my signal to get started. Crow, if you would be so kind?" Crow seemed to tumble in on himself, and a moment later had transformed into a black and grey laptop, which Asylink scooped up and carried to a desk that had been erected in the corner. "Crow is my database. He contains all the information I have collected in Dire and abroad. You don't have to worry about an information leak. Crow's systems are well protected, and he's a mute. I'm the only one that understands his method of communication. I assure you that our sessions will remain confidential. Between the three of us, I'm sure we can diagnose your condition in record time, giving me the freedom to go back home, and you the time to carry on with your scheming."

Starscream nodded slowly. "Sounds nice… but let's get one thing straight?"

Asylink looked up from Crow's screen and felt his systems go momentarily numb at the iciness in Starscream's voice and features. Sometimes being able to read people was a drag. He couldn't understand how Soundwave could put up with it on the level that he did. "Sure thing. What?"

Starscream held Asylink's gaze, his facial expression blank. "If I don't want to talk about something, the subject drops. Got it?"

The psychologist's smile faltered. "Yes…of course."


	5. Chapter 5 Masterpiece

I've decided to update as soon as I finish editing each chapter. I don't work well with a schedule lol.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream felt like his entire mind had gone static and knew that it was a residual effect of shock. He forced a face of calm. Every aspiration, goal, and ambition that he possessed could be riding on his ability to appear sane. _To _prove_ I'm sane. _The thought came out as a fanatical shout in his head. He flinched and hoped the mech across from him didn't notice, though he knew he probably had. Starscream had seen Asylink's optics brighten at his reaction to Dire even though his facial expression had not changed. The defensive stance had been impulsive and too quick for him to stop.

Asylink typed a code into Crow's system and then looked up. "I should probably do a diagnostic of your programming before we get started."

Starscream frowned and felt the guardedness reenter his body. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Asylink waved his hands in negation. "Nothing offensive I assure you. Only… seekers tend to have missing and extra facets in their programming. I have to be sure the procedures that I use will not be overly stressing."

"…Missing and extra?"

Asylink smiled, sensing that he was about to be handed an opportune moment to give a lecture. "Seekers have different psychological needs than other mechs. This is true with most flyers. If you took a normal mech's programming and put it inside another body with a seeker alt-mode, they would most likely die in flight."

Starscream could feel that Asylink was going to continue on this subject with or without his interest, so he humored him. "How so?"

"I believe that it would be simpler to show you." He typed a command, and turned the lap-top around so that Starscream could see. It looked rather like a video game's obstacle course. A narrow tunnel extended into the distance with random beams and pillars scattered inside it. Asylink clicked a button and the perception of the screen moved forward at a surprisingly fast pace. Starscream followed the movement calculating where the invisible flyer should go next. In truth the course was easy and left more than enough room for all obstructions to be navigated. Half a minute passed without anything extraordinary, but Starscream still kept his focus. Then, without any warning, a beam shot out from the wall at an incredible speed and stopped in the screen's flight trajectory. Asylink stopped the simulation. "What was the first thing that came into your mind when that beam shot out?"

"Pull up seventy degrees."

"Exactly. Normal mechs would have no time to compensate. Too many other thoughts would cloud their mind: Surprise, the possibility of death, the unlikelihood that another course could be taken… They would, in short, have crashed. Seekers and other flyers must have extra bits of programming added to the norm in order to counteract such thoughts. In many cases programming is removed to prevent those thoughts from even occurring… this is where we get the hot-headed reckless flyers that seem to dominate the aerial population. Unfortunately, the mind is a delicate thing. Such nuances can be the difference between a loyal follower and a serial killer." Asylink paused and looked thoughtful. "Forty-two percent of Dire's patients are seekers."

"Gee, what comfort."

Asylink smiled apologetically. "If you want to hear something really funny, then listen to this: Some of those seekers used to work for me." He laughed.

Starscream didn't. "You… said something about a diagnostic?"

"Oh yes. I get sidetracked sometimes." Asylink raised his left hand and the tip of his index finger pulled back to show a cord. "If you'd just give me your right wrist…" Starscream extended his arm and Asylink came around the desk to reach him. He flipped a small panel just below Starscream's palm and plugged in the cord. There was a brief sting and then nothing. He repeated the procedure at the back of Starscream's neck. The sting was sharper this time, but not enough to warrant a reaction. Asylink stood again and went back to his seat. Starscream straightened, deciding it was the right time to act annoyed.

Placing the cord this time inside Crow, Asylink watched the stream of code appear in red on the screen. He bypassed the physical stats, focusing entirely on the bits to do with the seekers mind. At first everything seemed perfectly normal. Then foreign symbols appeared. Asylink's optics flashed. He felt his spark grow cold. _Primus… this is…_ He stole a look at Starscream from over the laptop's lid. The air commander was lounging in his chair, looking haughty. He looked back at the screen, mystified and horrified in the same breath. It was fascinating and at the same time… what it implied… "I'm afraid it will take me a while to sort out all of this code," he lied. "Sorry to cut our session short, but there's nothing more I can really do until I work through this. Leave unless you want to be bored to death."

Starscream stood and shrugged. "How often has the tyrant deemed it necessary for me to come?"

Asylink smiled. "Come back in the morning." Starscream scoffed and left. Asylink pitied whoever met him in the halls. Raising his hand to his head, Asylink thought clearly, _"Soundwave? Come here. Now."_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Soundwave entered the room and immediately sensed a wave of anger and horror. It was strong enough to give him pause. Asylink was staring fixedly at the screen of a laptop that could be recognized as Crow. "What is wrong?"

Asylink turned to him slowly. An accusing look was plastered on his face and his orange optics were overly bright. "Look. At. This. And if you _dare_ tell me you didn't know…"

Soundwave crossed the room and looked over Asylink's shoulder. "What…?"

"This is a replica of your air commander's programming. Don't act so surprised, Soundwave. You must have known, felt the residual effects. What the _slag_ didn't you tell me?"

Soundwave put his hand on the psychologist's shoulder and willed a wave of calm into his systems.

Asylink hissed, his optics momentarily shutting off. They brightened again. "Thank you. I needed that. But… why?" He looked back at this screen and the twisted code. The eerie and haunting complexity of it sent guilt trickling through his body. "I've only seen the like of this code once, and that was in the patients of a mech named Dunamis."

Soundwave recognized the name instantly. "Dunamis?" he asked cautiously. The communications officer had not anticipated the subject to come up so soon.

"He… was one of my employees. It was Dunamis that realized the need to alter flyers' minds in order for them to survive. He was brilliant and I didn't hesitate to put him in charge of the project." Recollections of past terrors showed readily on Asylink's face. "He tested all different modes of programming, searching for the most suitable. Ninety three percent of his subjects turned out perfect, with no permanent scars. They possessed the ideal warrior's mind and drastic skill potential prior to training. Both factions sent prototypes with every range of alt-mode to Dire by the hundreds to be reformatted." He paused, clenching his fist. "I was so caught up in the power and prospects that I never even considered that Dunamis's methods would be… less than civilized. He was using living experiments, adding and removing mental components from already existing mechs. He tested and tortured them for the sake of his science, marking reactions, making adjustments."

Asylink looked up at Soundwave before continuing. "You're a telepath. You know what it feels like to have your mind dissected and manipulated. Most patients were lucky and came out of it all with only brief flashes of agony to serve as memories. Others were driven insane by the weight and severity of the torture. Dunamis had no prejudices, no patterns in who he gave what treatment, except for a few. Some walked away with minds so altered and tampered that little remained of their original self. But they were beautiful. Flawless. Reading them could leave you mesmerized… I remember when I finally realized what Dunamis had done; when I finally approached him… he called them his _masterpieces_… his works of art." He looked at the screen, optics glazed. "Your air commander is obviously one of them… the pain that must have been inflicted… Dunamis was insane himself, as I later found out. He continued the experiments for the enjoyment of it, even after the ideal program had been found. He was fascinated by how mechs reacted to such pain. The sadistic bastard."

Soundwave weighed his options and chose necessity over discretion. "Asylink…"

Asylink looked up at him, optics dim with confusion.

"Dunamis… is Starscream's creator. And Starscream knows it. He remembers. But then again I suppose every mech would have at least fleeting memories of the one who sparked them." Soundwave watched Asylink carefully, calculating his reaction. If this didn't go well…

"You… you're lying…" the psychologist stammered. "Dunamis didn't have any creations… I would have known. He never left Dire."

"He hid Starscream from you. I know this. I did a thorough investigation when Starscream joined the Decepticons. Starscream confessed it all himself." Soundwave leaned in closer. "Think back Asylink. When we met… didn't it seem rather odd that such a high-ranking Decepticon would show up at an asylum just to speak with the owner? I had to make sure such declarations were true. I had to have access to his private files. As for how such a mind would affect me… After billions of years, I have grown accustomed to it."

"So… this is why you wanted me to come in person? Because I knew Dunamis?"

"Partially. I also doubted the trust I could put in other mechs. But to the matter at hand… Could this have anything to do with Starscream possibly double-sparking himself?"

Asylink smiled weakly, feeling that he'd been had. _This_ was why Soundwave had needed him. "No."

Soundwave had the grace to look taken aback. "What?"

"While this certainly would not aid in preventing it from happening, this can't possibly be the reason. And if it were, such episodes would have been occurring since Dunamis was alive: One hundred years before the Decepticon faction even spread to our side of Cybertron. In addition, the condition's current intensity would have been immediate, not gradual as I suspect it was. I'm sorry Soundwave. We're looking for a cause, but this isn't it."

"Then what could it be?"

"That, my secret-keeping friend, will have to wait until another session." He beckoned for Crow to transform. "You've given me quite enough to think about."

Soundwave straightened, sensing finality in Asylink's tone, and left the room. He hoped that this incident would not be one he regretted later.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream walked quickly, intent on telling Skywarp and Thundercracker what had happened as soon as possible. _He knows… that's why he asked me to leave the room. __**This changes nothing.**__ Shut up, you! _He shook his head vigorously. _**You should not have told your wingmates about me. They will only interfere. **__Interfere? Interfere with what?_ There was no answer.

Starscream scowled and cursed loudly.

"I hope that wasn't meant for me. It's nice to see you too."

Starscream jumped and looked up. "_Skywarp…_ Don't _do _that." He looked over his shoulder. The nearest mechs were at an intersection halfway down the hall, probably not within hearing distance, but Starscream didn't want to take the chance. "Look… we need to talk. Where's TC?"

"He's been sent on a mission. He won't be back until morning… What's wrong? You look edgy." Skywarp tilted his head expectantly.

"We can't talk now. I'd really rather not be overheard…"

"Is this about your therapy session?"

Starscream froze. "How the slag did you know about that? _I_ wasn't even told!"

Skywarp smiled. "Frenzy thought it was a joke better shared. Although, Soundwave didn't look too happy about him telling so many."

"Yeah, well I'm going to have a word with him about what he lets his cassettes know." He growled. "Come to think of it… this was probably more his idea than Megatron's anyway." _How much does Soundwave know?__** Enough. I could not block it all.**__ He knows about you? __**He suspects, and that is dangerous.**_ _**He must be dealt with eventually.**_


	6. Chapter 6 Two Exceptions

Flashbacks are in italics and in first person.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream was lying down on the recharge bed, optics shut off, but very much awake. He knew that Skywarp was probably in the room somewhere, and so he feigned recharge. He'd explained the session to his wingmates, but he no longer felt like talking. Thundercracker had had to leave quickly in order be briefed on an upcoming mission, and Starscream didn't feel prepared to speak to Skywarp without their third, more reasonable wingmate present.

What he really wanted, _needed_, to do was think. His options were dwindling by the day, as was his confidence in his sanity. As far as he could tell, the voice was there to stay, as was the void. Even now he could feel both beckoning to him, just around the corner if he should go into recharge or let his will waver. Right now, the latter was more likely. Starscream very rarely doubted himself, but the knowledge that someone else knew about Dunamis had shaken him. Especially since this someone had worked with Dunamis, given him orders…

Commissioned the project that resulted in Starscream's creation…

_No! _Starscream convulsed inwardly. _Ghosts are for nightmares. The past is for those with no future… He's dead. I'm not. That's where it ends. _

A laugh stirred in the recesses of his mind, quiet at first and then growing. _**You're wrong. Nothing ends. Everything must continue, even within the bounds of Death.**_

Starscream clenched his teeth. ___Not in my mind, it doesn't! I'm no fool. I learned from those memories, I don't ignore them. I survived because I was the stronger!_

_**And because you could fire a gun. **_

Starscream screamed mentally, lashing out into the portion of his mind where he believed the voice was located. There was another scream in a voice smoother and mellower than his own, informing him that the bodiless attack had some effect. But then a searing burn started in his temples, spreading outwards in a backlash of energy as the wave doubled on him. "So much for going on offense," his whispered softly. Somehow he had expected something like that to happen. _I can't hurt him without harming myself._

"…Screamer? You okay?"

He flexed his fingers, trying to rid them of the ache. "Yes Skywarp, I'm fine," he said bitterly. He felt himself sinking backwards, and knew the void was closing in. He struggled feebly and without conviction. He knew that at this point fighting it was damn near pointless.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream awoke to someone shaking his shoulders. The lack of enthusiasm told him it was most likely Thundercracker. Skywarp took pride in awaking someone via a good scare, usually accompanied by a scream. "What is it..?" he asked, trying to shield his optics from the sudden light.

"Time for a nice trip to Goodvibes, Screamer."

Starscream smirked through his annoyed detachment. "Oh what fun I shall have. I take it you and Skywarp are going on a mission then?"

Thundercracker eyed him warily. Missions had been a touchy subject with the air commander ever since he'd been confined to the base. "Yes, but it's only a little re-con, nothing special."

Starscream simply shrugged and pushed past the other seeker out into the hall. "I'll see you later, then. Don't get shot." Starscream supposed that he had no reason to be cross with either of his wingmates, but when he was angry he tended to spread that anger. Taking everything out on others prevented him from taking it out on himself, a habit he was loathe to break.

This time he was prepared when he entered the spare room where Asylink set up base and had drilled himself in indifference on the walk there. Recollections of the past _would not _get the better of him this time. He couldn't allow it. Mask of boredom in place, he took his seat, noticing that in addition to Crow's laptop form, there were scattered data pads on Asylink's desk. _What was he researching?_ The thought brought new trepidation into the air commander's systems. When Asylink didn't look up at his entrance, Starscream asked "Long night? You look fatigued."

Asylink laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "You could say that I suppose." He met Starscream's optics and looked away again, as if frightened by what he might see there. "I… well, that is… Soundwave—" he was cut off.

Starscream bristled at the name, already knowing what Dire's founder was about to say. "You know about Dunamis. _Yes_, I _know_ that you know," the seeker added at the psychologist's look of surprise. "It wasn't that difficult to guess, what with you asking me to leave after you'd had a look at my programming."

Asylink spoke up tentatively. "Does that trouble you?"

"A lot, actually."

The doctor shook his head. "Listen… I'm not going to lie, and I don't see how keeping the information from you will help. Soundwave believes that Dunamis' role in your life has something to do with your… condition. Personally, I think that though there are undoubtedly permanent scars, the elevation of your mental state would have occurred much sooner if that had been the case." He swept a blue hand over the datapads. "These are all that remains of your personal records. I am guessing that you took the liberty of erasing most of them."

Starscream crossed his arms, defiance and a sneer evident in his features. "And you would be correct. What of it?"

"I need more information, Starscream. I have to have more to work with."

"What if I choose _not_ to give any more information?"

"Then I _'would have to take you to Dire and extract it there by force for your safety and the safety of your comrades'_. Those were Megatron's exact words, so don't blame me. Apparently he foresaw your unwillingness to cooperate and gave permission in advance." Asylink shifted uncomfortably at the mutinous expression on Starscream's face. "I really would like to make this as painless as possible. Hell, I _really_ would like to go back to Dire and make sure my chief tech hasn't let all the inmates loose during one of his drunken escapades, but… I'm _here_. And I can't leave. Well, I suppose I could… I'm just a little afraid of being shot. The bottom line is that until I give Soundwave evidence that your mentality is not a threat, I'm stuck here."

"My _mentality_, as you put it, has always been a threat."

Asylink looked up at the ceiling vaguely and laced his fingers. "Let's try this from a different approach. Something _is_ wrong with you, Starscream. That something has not only endangered your life by knocking you out during battles and flights, but endangered the lives of your fellow Decepticons… most of whom I doubt you care anything about… other than, of course, your wingmates." He turned his level attention back to the seeker. "I believe Soundwave said that you tried to deactivate them. I'm not sure that is entirely true. I believe something _made_ you do it, put you in a trance or locked you in an abstraction. I can prove, given the right information, that none of this was your fault. And I can, given the right information, keep it from happening again." He leaned forwards. "I. Just. Need. To. Know."

Starscream's optics pulsed. "If you are so well-informed, then you should also know that I don't tolerate trust or loyalties unless they can serve me in some way. I have only made two exceptions to that little philosophy, and neither of them is here right now." His voice turned to a hiss. "So I would shove off if I were you, and if you try the forcing I'll try the shooting. Clear?"

"Two exceptions… your wingmates I'm guessing."

"Nah, one's the tyrant, of _course _my wingmates you stupid little…" Starscream took a steadied himself and calmed his nerves. "Yes… my wingmates are my exceptions."

Asylink clapped his hands together looking nauseatingly jovial. "Excellent. We can start there."

Starscream simply stared at the psychologist, nonplussed. "Start… where?"

"With your wingmates. You've told me that you have trust in them, and seeing as to how one normally has their wingmates for as long as they've been enlisted… a while in your case… they should prove an easy subject."

"How will knowing about Skywarp and Thundercracker help you with me?"

"One's general personality type and views can usually be better understood when friends are considered."

Starscream laughed. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I am _nothing _like either of my wingmates."

Asylink smirked as though enjoying a private joke. "I never said you were, air commander." He fiddled with Crow's screen for a moment in what appeared to be a routine manner. Then he pulled a datapad towards him (Starscream recognized Dire's insignia on the panel) and handed it to Starscream. "This is a form stating that I have permission to download a selection of your memory files. If you could just sign it…" He sounded overly hopeful.

"Slag, no."

Asylink sighed. "I swear on my profession and the confidentiality of all my patients, that no one other than Crow and I will have access to these files, and we will not view anything… err… explicitly private."

"Slag. _No._" Starscream was beginning to feel aggressive and exceedingly annoyed. What right did this neutral have to know _anything _about him, let alone see his memories? _**Let him.**_ Starscream went rigid. _What did you say? __**Let him… I have forgotten certain aspects of my existence that could prove most advantageous to us in the future, and here is the perfect way to recover them.**__ You keep making allusions to some big plan of yours, but you have yet to explain it to me. What is important enough that I should let myself be so defenseless?_ There was no answer. Starscream, once again, had not expected one. "Let me get this straight… these files will only have visual access, correct? You will only be able to tell what I saw, not what I thought?"

Asylink nodded. "It will be as if I saw your experiences from my eyes. I will only have your optics, not your mind. You, however, will actually be reliving it; you are going through these memories second by second." Starscream sneered and snatched the datapad out of Asylink's hands and signed it in his thin slanting writing. Asylink stared at the datapad now back in his hands, almost convinced that he must have been sucked into a parallel dimension. "You're... okay with it?"

Starscream smiled coldly. "We'll see." He crossed his arms. "As long as you don't share anything with the rest of the hierarchy, I'll cooperate."

"I won't…" Asylink stood, moving to stand by the side of the desk and transformed.

"Well, I can see why you're a neutral. That wouldn't do you much good in battle." Starscream was looking at an object that closely resembled a synthesizer. It was completely white but for two blue panels with handprints and a rather large monitor. Starscream stepped forward, swiveling his chair with him. He sat in front of Asylink and, thinking ahead, put his hands on the two panels. They lit up with the outline.

Transformers technically didn't have fingerprints. Instead they possessed a complex and unique sensory array that could not only identify an individual, but also their alt-mode and alliance without any further reference. Starscream waited for the glow to fade, knowing that he was now included in Dire's patient records. _High time, I suppose…_he thought bitterly. _Now, what's next…_ He tried to pull his hands away and found them stuck to the panels. "What the?!" A vibration started in his fingertips, spreading to his palm and forearms. A chilling lack of sensation pooled in his temples, blotting out coherent thought. Slowly, frame by frame, hue by hue, his optics shut off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_File 000020132_

_31/2/3000 22:12:22_

_Pass code: .............. _

_Access Granted._

_It was always difficult for me to observe the sessions. I was very rarely given permission to walk the corridors, and even then _never_ alone. That was why I was very cautious when it came to the safe haven I'd found inside the walls. The security system had become outdated and inoperative in certain parts of the complex, making it very simple for me to clear most of the tech to the sides, thus creating a narrow passage just big enough for me to traverse. Granted, my maze was only accessible through a duct on the third sublevel, and it could take me hours of prowling just to get inside. My consolation was that not even my creator knew about the hollowed out walls. As far as I knew, it was my secret._

_My only secret._

_The lights were dimmer than was normal, though I suspected that was from the throng of mechs flooding the halls in a panic. I had heard the screams all the way from the vault that served as my room. Something was seriously wrong._

_Even now I could see trails of energon leaking from the mouths and appendages of the civilians that had flooded in from the streets. A cacophony of shrieks and hysterical conversations were nearly drowned out by the explosions coming from outside Dire. A radiance of flames lapped at the windows and blackened buildings beyond. _

_I could see many different states of shock and fright on the faces of the asylum's personnel. My view was partially obstructed through the bars of the vent, but I knew what I was looking at. This was an uprising. At least, that's what I'd always heard my creator's colleagues call it. The underground population of Bartrae had rioted, and I murmured the one word I was sure had caused it. "Decepticons…" I had overheard that tech Crank telling a medic that even though the rogue faction was still centered on the opposite side of the planet, transformers all over Cybertron were choosing to defect. "How safe could Dire be against that kind of force?" I wondered aloud._

_It was then that I noticed the giant front entrance of Dire closing. It was if a judgment had come, merciless and finite, leaving anyone who hadn't been quick enough outside to die. When the substantial doors clamped shut it was like someone had stolen the sound. The great fiery harmonies from the streets clicked off. The mechs that had filled the halls turned to look at the rampage they had abandoned, some solemnly, some with relief. _

_A mech stood on a dais above the crowd, voice struggling to rise above the clamor. "Please follow the Dire personnel, the mechs with orange markings on their shoulders, into some more comfortable accommodations. If you fear that your injuries are serious, or if you need something to take the shock out, our medics would be more than happy to assist. Please remain in a state of calm, as this will aid in the lowering of _our_ nerves." _

_I recognized Asylink, even though I had only seen him twice before. The mech was currently purple and grey, but he'd had a different paintjob every time I'd seen him. The only reasons I could tell him from his employees were that he always had a contented, absentminded expression and his optics remained a bright orange. _

_I judged his announcement to be my cue to head towards the meeting rooms. Maybe if I was lucky, I could see my creator use his new procedure. Normally he tried them on me first, to make sure there had not been an error in his calculations, but this time he had flat out refused when I asked… something he had never done before…_

_I shook my head to erase the doubt from my mind. For a second I thought I had almost remembered something, something painful, torturous… but it had been associated with my creator, and he had ever done anything to hurt me. Once again I chased away the ensuing sense of a falsehood._

_Dunamis…_

_Thinking the name strengthened me enough to regain control of my frame of mind. I hurried forward, anxious not to miss the fun. I was midway to the conference floor, when the sound of an argument halted me. Civilians were passing through halls on both sides of me, and in the one to the right, I could see two Dire techs stooping over a fallen mech. I edged closer to my vent-spy-hole and positioned myself in the corner to avoid detection should one of them happen to look up. _

_The mech that sat in a stupor on the floor looked to be slightly younger than me and of a similar build. He was staring straight ahead with optics that had become reflective and empty, probably at the hands of trauma from the riot. _

_One technician was trying to get the mech to stand, while the other was busy trying to pry something from his fingers. I felt my spark skip a pulse._

_The younger mech was clutching a disembodied, energon coated arm._

_When the technician finally realized that he could not get the arm free, he simply shook his head and gripped his colleague's arm. "No use, and we've got enough on our plates without dealing with this kid. We can send someone back for him when the tide lets up. Come on… the rest of the civilians have almost reached the end of the corridor."_

_Sure enough, the hall in front of them was empty, the crowd having pulled ahead. The two techs turned and walked away, the last one giving a furtive glance over his shoulder at the downed civilian. Soon they turned the corner and were out of my range of sight. _

_Making my usual split-second decisions, I pushed firmly on the delicate vent which fell to the ground with a clatter in the hall. I looked up at the noise. I hadn't expected it to be that loud. The mech on the floor in front of me didn't even flinch. _He's out of it…_ I thought with a sort of sadistic humor. _

_I knelt in front of the civilian and shook one of his shoulders. "Hey! Time to get moving. You shouldn't stay out here alone." I paused. I had only just now realized that the mech, a small seeker really, was whispering something. The words were barely audible and strung together without a break, but I thought I could understand._

"_Don'tletgo, don'tletgo, don'tletgo, don'tletgo…" _

_I looked slowly down at the arm clutched desperately in the youth's hands. Then I turned my attention rather gratefully back to the seeker. "You _have_ to let go… whoever it was is dead now. Can you… can you understand me?" I tried to meet his optics, but they were blank and staring. All that seemed to occupy the mech's mind was the single command, probably the last thing he had heard from the victim. I decided to try a different tactic. "He must have been important to you… who was he?"_

_The seeker's mutterings trailed off. "He…"_

"_Yeah, that's right. Who was he?"_

_The civilian looked down at his hands. "He was… my…" He broke off._

"_Your creator?"_

"_Yes." The mech looked detachedly up at the ceiling._

"_And… who are you?"_

_The seeker fumbled on words for a moment before managing, "My name's Synsect, but I don't care about that anymore." A light, dim but steady, appeared without warning in the mech's optics. It was if a revelation had come over him. "I don't want that to be my name anymore!" He was nearly shouting. "I want… I want to be like him…" The disembodied arm fell limply from his fingertips. "I… my name's Skywarp." _


	7. Chapter 7 Condition

New scene in this chapter :D

Sorry the update took so long. I blame college. I'm going to be updating everything for this fic en masse over the next couple of days.

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The flight back to base was dominated by an uncharacteristic silence.

Skywarp and Thundercracker had taken a different course than the coneheads, preferring to have some semblance of privacy. Their original intention had been to use the flight to discuss Starscream, but both seemed equally wary to bring up the subject.

"So…" Skywarp ventured, opening the neglected comm.

"Yeah," Thundercracker responded unhelpfully.

"Oh c'mon!" Skywarp interjected with annoyance. "You're the one with all the speeches and morals and lectures and slag. You _must_ have something more to say than _yeah_."

"Sure."

"…smartaft," the teleport grumbled.

"What do you want me to say that I haven't already said?" Thundercracker asked coolly. "Nothing has changed from the last time we had this conversation."

"I dunno. I'm a doer, not a thinker. Don't ask me those kinds of questions."

"You want something to do? Go back to treating Screamer like you always have. He hasn't changed any. This voice of his has been there for a long time I'd wager, even if it wasn't talking. It's still _Starscream_, and you acting like he's contracted some sort of fatal illness isn't going to help him. At all." Thundercracker's words weren't said in a harsh tone. If anything, they were patient, almost gentle in whatever way a Decepticon could be gentle.

Skywarp was quiet for a few moments. "I know that. I do. But…" He remembered the way his wingmate's null rays had focused on him, the way the blast had nearly caught him in the chest. Starscream had meant to kill him. "Over the years, I've seen Starscream turn on _plenty_ of our comrades… But never _us_, TC. I trust Starscream. Revel in the irony and idiocy of that statement, but I do. It's this voice I don't trust, can't trust. And as long as it's inside of Screamer…"

"I'm not telling you not to be cautious," the blue seeker interjected. "I'm not telling you not to safeguard your own life. By the pit, all three of us would be dead if we didn't. I'm telling you not to pull away. You've approached him, what… Twice? Other than that, you've avoided him. Keep your gun charged and at the ready if you must, but don't just leave him."

"I never…!" the teleport bristled. "I just…"

"…Didn't know what to say?" Thundercracker laughed dryly. "Starscream knows you, Warp. He isn't going to expect you to know what to say. _No one_ would expect you to know what to say. You aren't exactly known for verbal prowess and refinement."

"Did you just give me advice and insult me in the same sentence? Slagger."

If they hadn't been in jet mode, Thundercracker would have shrugged. "Take it or leave it. It's all I got."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The buzzing sensation faded from Starscream's fingertips. He pulled his hands slowly back from the blue panels, feeling at a loss for words. In front of him, Asylink reverted back to his mech form and stared at the air commander in confusion. "I'd forgotten about you… your paintjob's different again," Starscream said grudgingly.

Asylink took his seat behind the desk and looked at Starscream pensively. "So… not only did not I know that Dunamis was hiding _you_ from me, but Skywarp as well? Am I _that_ oblivious?"

The seeker shook his head. "Actually Dunamis never really knew about Skywarp until the end… I hid him."

Asylink searched Starscream's optics carefully. "What do you mean he didn't know 'until the end'?"

Starscream's spark chilled when he realized what he'd said. He hastened to give an explanation. "Skywarp and I left to join the Decepticon forces. I couldn't just leave without saying anything. He was my creator; I owed him the truth."

Asylink still had the appearance of suspicion. "You… do know that Dunamis was murdered, correct?"

Starscream scoffed. "Of course I know! How couldn't I?"

Asylink considered the incident that had occurred so long ago. The case had never been solved, and all the suspects had had faultless alibis. It had been written off as suicide. Asylink had yet to figure out how Dunamis was supposed to have shot himself in the back. Was he looking the answer in the optics? He shook his head and chose to let the past be the past. "Let's get off the subject of Dunamis for a little while. Memory transmission takes a lot of energy and it will be a while before either of us will have enough to try that again. For the meantime, let's talk of more recent events."

Starscream sighed and leaned back in his chair. It had only been a matter of time before this came up. "Whatever you suggest…"

Asylink elected to just come out and say it. "Describe what happens during your blackouts."

_Do I lie or not? If I do… Soundwave knows most of the truth, and if Asylink confides his findings in the damned telepath…I'm cornered anyway, what's to lose? _"I go into a void, an empty black nothingness."

"Are you aware during these times?" He began typing on Crow's keys with practiced precision.

"Yes," the air commander replied evenly. "I have a body and cogent thoughts, but I can't move out of a certain very confined area."

"And…" Asylink paused over the keyboard. This is what it all came down to. _Primus give the seeker the rationality to cooperate_. "And are you alone, Starscream?"

Starscream turned off his optics and reactivated them in a split second of indecision. "No… I'm not."

Asylink looked up slowly, his spark throbbing. "Who is with you?"

"I'm not sure… there's… a voice. There's only a voice." Chills ran through Starscream's body in protest, an angry hissing filling his ears with pain and aggression. Something was fighting hard to enter his veins. The air commander swallowed hard. "He…" The hissing turned into a roar of fury so loud it turned the room into a haze. It ran from his head down into his fingertips, frothing through his body. "He can…" Starscream didn't want to say, didn't want to admit it.

"He can control you? Puppet your body?"

"…Yes."

"What is he doing right now? Can you feel him? Hear him?" Asylink's fingers had stopped gliding over the laptop. His orange optics were focused entirely on the seeker wracked with shaking in front of him. The shudders were small but constant, mostly visible in the fingers and wingtips. The psychologist focused, ready to call for Soundwave if the seeker went into convulsions.

"He's screaming. He wants me to… wants me to stop. He's telling me to lie and deny his existence." Starscream's hands rose to grip his forearms. Visions passed before him; ghost pains from the past filled his body. The voice was using the arsenal of his own mind to force him into submission. _Stop! Stop this! __**Damn you! You fool! You will have both of us destroyed! **_The pain and internal shattering reached a zenith. Starscream toppled and his mouth opened in a scream.

A scream with two voices.

Asylink jumped to his feet and ran to kneel beside the seeker's side. "Soundwave!" he screamed.

The telepath appeared barely a minute later looking as though he already knew what was happening. He knelt beside Starscream and placed his hands on the air commander's head. Sound seemed to stop. For a moment the air commander still struggled, but in the end Starscream's body stopped writhing and lay still. His optics relit haltingly.

At first Starscream's face looked placid, but then he raised his arm, hand balled into a fist, and knocked Soundwave sprawling. "Don't touch me!" the seeker spat. He sat up, eyes fixed warily on the telepath as though expecting retaliation. None came.

Soundwave stood, nodded to Asylink, and left the room like nothing had happened. His presence had been so brief that if he tried, Starscream was sure he could pretend he had never been there. But he didn't do that anymore. All forgetting unwanted memories did was set them up to come back later. He'd found that out the hard way. He stood shakily, and even though his body still ached, he didn't let it show. He wouldn't let any more weakness reveal itself. Starscream wasn't entirely sure what Soundwave had done to him, but he could no longer feel the voice's presence. He regained his position in the chair, slightly annoyed that Asylink had done so before him.

"I feel that is necessary to warn you that as we go through these sessions, incidents like that are likely to repeat themselves." The psychologist's focus was back on Crow's screen and his vague expression had returned. Seemingly satisfied by the readings his new entries had produced, he shut Crow's lid, allowing the miniscule mech to transform. Asylink lifted him off the desk and set him safely on the floor. "Why don't you go play with Frenzy?" Crow nodded once and exited the room.

"So… I take it you have at least some idea of what's wrong with me," Starscream said casually.

"Yes, actually, but it's complicated…" Asylink considered how to put it. "When there are two separate entities in a single body, both with the ability to take control, it is commonly referred to as 'Doublespaking', as in two sparks. Such a split normally happens when a mech undergoes a severe and radical change in personality and mentality… because the change is almost instantaneous, there is no time for the old frame of mind to cease to exist. Therefore, the spark in question is divided in two: one half for who the mech once was and the other for who he has become. This spilt is usually facilitated by some great, repeated trauma. The number of Doublespark cases have increased dramatically since the start of the war. Soundwave believed, and I originally agreed with him, that you had developed said condition… but…" Asylink trailed off.

"But what?"

"In order for you to have _truly_ Doublesparked yourself there would have to be another body with you in the void. The voice, as you called it, would have to have a form, and you've told me that it doesn't." He folded his arms. "This suggests that your spark is divided into two sections, but they have not been completely severed. This is rather good news."

Starscream laughed mockingly. "Really? Is that all? Why that's fantastic! I'm only _partially_ insane." He glared. "Mind telling me how all of this is supposed to be good news?"

"It means that you can be put back together. We just need to find what made you split… If the voice does not have a form then it is because he is not entirely an individual… that he was most likely only brought into existence for _one_ reason. One goal. That would be all that he cares about, and once that purpose is fulfilled, his existence will no longer be required. His portion of spark would be rejoined with yours."

"So… we just need to find out what his purpose for being here is, complete it, and then he'll just… go away?"

Asylink smiled pleasantly. "Probably."

"And how exactly do you propose we do that?"

"It's quite simple really." Asylink leaned back in his chair. "Because the voice came to be over a span of a great many vorns, or so Soundwave tells me…" he paused and continued at Starscream's nod. "Because it happened so progressively, it would be due to the desire for an aspiration growing also. The original wanting of this goal would have been sudden and uncharacteristic, causing the split, and then growing in fervor as time passed until it approached the capacity to be all-consuming… So tell me, Starscream," Asylink looked up, locking onto the air commander's optics. "What do you want more than anything else in the universe?"

It didn't take long for Starscream to come up with the answer, but he didn't speak.

Asylink shrugged his shoulders. "I can guess, and I'd bet my life that I'm right… but I won't. And we will continue with these sessions until you can tell me… though I suspect that it goes much deeper than I can understand. I can guess the 'what', but what I need is the 'why'."

"And what if I don't feel like explaining?" he said calmly.

"You don't have to. I can see for myself remember? It might take a while for us to reach that particular set of memories, but it is inevitable that we will." Asylink shook his head. "I won't put you through any more today. I suggest you leave and get some rest… your wingmates should be back by now. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about."

Starscream stood and turned away without saying a word, but paused when he reached the door. "Will you be telling Soundwave about this?"

"Only the bit about it not being a true Doublesparking. Everything else, as I said before, is confidential." Asylink sighed as the door hissed shut behind the seeker. Considering how the sessions had gone so far, he was in for a world of stress._ And Crank is still running Dire. Maybe when I get back, all the patients will have escaped, and I can retire. _


	8. Chapter 8 Cornered

I just realized that since I'll be updating so quickly, cliffhangers won't be as big of a deal. I think that might be a good thing with the end of this chapter lol.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Skywarp paced uncontrollably. His anxious energy was starting to nauseate his wingmate. "Why isn't he here yet?" the teleporter demanded. "We've been back for over an _hour_ and he isn't here yet!"

Thundercracker sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. It was developing into a nervous habit. "He probably just needs some time to think things over… or talk things over as it may be. That whole voice-in-your-head thing must be rather taxing," he pointed out wryly. "Wouldn't you want time alone after a session of mind hacking?"

Skywarp paused briefly and then shook his head after a moment of consideration. "No," he said firmly. "I'd want to get back to my quarters as soon as possible… _so why isn't he here_?"

"Because he's not you." Thundercracker put his head in his hands with exasperation and exhaustion. "Thank Primus…" he added in a mutter before raising his voice again. "Just remember who you're talking about. It's Starscream. He goes to the extreme of every emotion, important or not. I'm telling you, he's just worked up and needs time to calm down. If you'll just sit down and stop pacing, I'm sure he will be here in any minute. Don't make me knock you unconscious."

Skywarp glared menacingly, arms crossed in a sudden pout. "I'd teleport behind you and shoot you before you got the chance." He looked ill at ease but slouched down beside his wingmate nonetheless. "He better get here soon."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream stared out the ceiling-high window at the black stretch of ocean. How far down from the surface were they again? The sky was miles away… He swallowed hard. If he didn't find a way out of this to get his weapons and freedom back, he was going to have a break down. Nothing could chase away the overhanging sense of tension. Starscream was trapped in a ship full of mechs that would probably kill him if presented with half a chance, and he had no real means to defend himself. Not to mention he had a nagging suspicion that Megatron would use this situation to pay him back for all of his treachery. He knew good and well that the only thing keeping him alive was his abilities and experience in the field. Once his usefulness ran out…

Starscream shook his head involuntarily as though trying to rid himself of that reflection. There were too many memories tied to the thought, and more than half of them concerned the tyrant. Megatron was the last subject he wanted to dwell on. It all came down to control, power, security, supremacy, all the things that Megatron possessed and were just beyond Starscream's reach.

_What do you want more than anything else in the universe?_

A wave of self-induced indifference washed over him. _I can not be killed. I have nothing to fear from _any_ of them. I will bide my time if necessary, but I _will_ succeed. _

"Well, well…what do we have here?" Motormaster's jeering voice broke through the air commander's silence.

Starscream's shoulders tensed. He didn't turn but caught the reflections of three mechs in the window. He clenched his fist apprehensively and then sneered to keep up the appearance of self-assurance.

"I don't know… looks like a helpless little traitor all alone in the world," came a cackle from the side. "I wonder if his wingmates turned him out. I wouldn't be surprised after he shot 'em up and all…" Breakdown laughed and crossed diagonally right behind Starscream, leaving Wildrider to take the left and Motormaster the middle.

"Shouldn't you be out in battle, or did you get blown sky high again?" Starscream asked conversationally.

He saw the punch coming in the window and shifted backwards, simultaneously catching Breakdown's arm as it passed. Then he yanked to the side, aiming a kick at the mech's leg joints; Breakdown went sprawling. Before Starscream had a chance to turn around and retaliate properly, Wildrider's arms had caught him beneath the shoulders and wings, holding him firmly in place. Starscream gritted his teeth and prepared to lift off the ground and transform if necessary. As soon as his rockets revved up a searing pain forced him to cut them off.

His energy was still drained from the memory transmission.

Breakdown stumbled slightly as he stood, spitting energon. He moved to stand behind Wildrider and gripped each of Starscream's wings, thoroughly killing any chance of take off, even if Starscream miraculously managed to recover his power.

Motormaster meandered toward the seeker as if he had all the time in the world. "Now, the way I see it, Megatron should have killed you off ages ago. Let's face it, your duplicity has no equal."

Starscream smiled despite his situation. "Duplicity? That's an awfully big word for a thug."

Motormaster growled and punched the air commander twice in the stomach with as much ferocity as he could manage. "I am more than happy to say that I will soon rid Megatron of a most aggravating head ache."

Starscream coughed. The following hits and kicks passed with tenacity, never pausing and never weakening. Energon had begun to pool in Starscream's mouth, but he refused to let it escape. He stayed quiet, and that seemed to only enrage the other mech further. Would Motormaster really go so far as to terminate him? _If so,_ Starscream thought bitterly, _maybe Megatron will see it as presumptuous and kill him too…_ He could feel the beginning stages of unconsciousness take over his dented body.

"Would you mind putting him down?"

Motormaster paused and straightened to look behind him. Starscream managed to lift his head slightly.

Skywarp was standing in the doorway, optics smoldering. "Did you hear me? I said _put him down_." The purple and black seeker's gun materialized in his hand. "_Now._"

Motormaster looked mildly uncomfortable, but then his face twisted into an intimidating sneer. "Last I checked, you're in no position to be dishing out commands, ranking officer or not. I'm the one holding the cards. As a matter of fact…" Motormaster raised his own gun. "As far as I'm concerned, that you would try to protect this worthless piece of slag makes you just as much of a traitor. If you were truly loyal to the Decepticons you would have disowned him a long time ago."

Skywarp's glare strengthened.

_As if he's doing this out of consideration for the Empire… he just wants to slag someone, _Starscream thought bitterly.

"Not to mention …" Motormaster's gun began to charge up. "We outnumber you three to one."

Skywarp laughed once, cold and piercing. A roguish grin spread across his features. His tone was daring, dangerous. "Honestly, I'm insulted! To think that you three could stand even a shred of a chance against me. It's laughable!" Skywarp began to walk forwards, slowly and deliberately, grin still in place.

Motormaster fired three shots, but just before they reached the point where the seeker stood, he was gone.

"The bastard's teleported! Where did h−?" Motormaster froze, the icy barrel of a gun pressed against the back of his head.

Skywarp sighed and relaxed the gun onto the base of Motormaster's neck. He draped his free arm around the mech's shoulders in a casual manner. "Now, let's see… what do I want to say? Ah, yes." He smiled almost apologetically at Breakdown and Wildrider. "You let my wingmate go and I might not blow your little ringleader's head off."

Wildrider and Breakdown traded glances and then dropped Starscream to the ground.

Skywarp nodded. "Perfect, now I'll just…"

"Well, don't this look interesting…"

The group turned as one to look in the doorway.

"Frenzy!"

But it was no use. The pint sized mech was off, screaming "Fight!" as loudly as he could manage down the halls. It took barely a minute for a great portion of the Decepticon forces to investigate. And, as faction defaults would have it, join in.

Soon Skywarp was surrounded by _complete_ pandemonium, more specifically a giant, fun, yet oddly side-lacking brawl. He dropped Motormaster and ducked beneath an answering swipe. _As much as I'd love to stay… Starscream looked like he could use some patching up… Wait… Where _is_ Starscream? I can't see him through the crowd._ Skywarp tilted from side to side, trying to see if a different point of view might show Screamer. _He was near the window…There! But…_

Starscream was kneeling on the floor, looking beat up but more animated. For one thing, he was shaking… Stress maybe? Or shock? And for another, his hands were gripping tightly at his temples. His optics were functional, and yet…

Something wasn't right.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Asylink groaned. It had been a long day, and he suddenly couldn't think of a single person in the Decepticon base who _hadn't_ threatened his well being. It was as if they thought Neutrals were just as worthy of hate as the Autobots. He found that offensive, really. "At least I'm making process with Starscream," he tried to comfort himself. "It shouldn't be long before I can go home."

Asylink stiffened. There was something out of sync in the base. Truly, it was an almost amplified version of the readings he got… from… _Oh, don't tell me._ He kicked his feet off the desk and bolted for the door. It probably wouldn't be anything life-threatening, but the seeker's mentality reading's had increased almost three fold. And seeing as to how Starscream's energy was all but gone… It would be very difficult for him to fight any attempts at control. The sooner he could reach him, the better. Asylink shut off his optics, trying to focus on the air commander's position. It seemed to be around nine hundred meters to his left, possibly the difference between three halls. He slid around the corner and almost ran over Frenzy.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"I, uh… I'm sorry. I didn't see you." Asylink side stepped him and raced onwards.

Frenzy called out after him. "There's a fight in that corridor you're heading towards! Your patient was getting the slag beat out of him!"

Asylink slid to a halt. _What?!_ He chided himself for pausing and forced himself to keep up the pace even though his mind was racing. If Starscream was in danger it would be the perfect excuse for the voice to try and take over. Starscream would have little say in the matter.

Asylink burst through a doorway and yelped, narrowly dodging what looked suspiciously like laser fire. But it couldn't be. What kind of idiots would be shooting in a submerged ship? He studied the tussle in front of him. Oh. Asylink shook his head and prepared to get down to the matter at hand. A very stressed out Starscream was buried somewhere in all those mechs.

As he surveyed the scene he recognized Skywarp and debated calling out to him to warn him of his wingmate's condition, but the teleporter seemed transfixed on a something. Asylink followed the seeker's gaze and finally saw Starscream. His spark sank. The air commander was huddled on the floor, looking like he was having an anxiety attack, but that wasn't what bothered him. One of Starscream's hands moved to cover one optic, his facial expression registering nothing but shock. Asylink could see even from this distance what was wrong. One optic was a pulsing and dimming red.

The other was a venomous green.

As if in slow motion Starscream's hands fell away from his face. He rose to his feet, all vestiges of weakness disappearing, and with an almost haunting clarity the monster's head turned to face Dire's founder. Asylink felt a burning in his mind like something was eating away at him from the inside. Fear, panic, numbness… all converged on him at once. He leaned against the wall for support, swallowing hard before managing to send both a mental and vocal message: "Everyone out! _He's not safe_!"

An alluring smile curved Starscream's lips. "**Do not bother. They can not hear you.**" The last of the red faded from the seeker's optics.


	9. Chapter 9 Once Given

Asylink had little time to think before another blast from the crowd shot towards him. He pushed back, hard, against the wall just as the first stream of laser fire passed him. He saved himself from the brunt of the force, but one of his arms was scorched. He shook his head, trying to get his bearings. It didn't look good. For one thing he didn't have a gun. For another, the fights he was used to were bar fights, which might have helped slightly if he were facing any other Decepticon in the brawl, but not Starscream. The air commander wasn't out for a good time. Asylink turned his optics from his arm back to where the seeker had been last. What he saw merely made him realize how quickly he needed an escape route.

Starscream was walking towards him, seemingly unimpeded by any of the other mechs. When the seeker drew near another Decepticon they simply stepped out or fell out of the way; it looked subconscious. _So Soundwave was right. When he's in this form, Starscream does have mild clairvoyant abilities. It makes sense… Dunamis was a telepath. Of course he'd have one as his favorite creation._

Asylink backed into the hall. He didn't want to think of how lucky he was that it had not been one of his legs that had taken the blow. If it had been, his situation would have been hopeless. He hurried forward, determined not to look behind him. The psychologist knew he wasn't a particularly brave mech and seeing Starscream approaching him might make him lose his nerve. Soundwave would be able to feel Starscream's shift just as well, if not better, than he could. That meant that it was only a matter of time until the communications officer made an appearance. Asylink only needed to hold his own until that happened. He turned a corner and slowed. Something wasn't right with his systems. It was almost as if something internal was hindering his progress.

"**You will find it difficult to run from me.**"

Asylink fought back chills at the voice. The pitch and tone were so different from Starscream's. Asylink tried to laugh, but it came out closer to a whimper. "Then it's good thing I'm used to difficulty. This would prove quite stressing otherwise."

"**There is no reason for you to continue. I do not wish to deactivate you. Besides, there is nowhere in this ship where you can hide from me.**" The seeker's pace never reached above walking speed, and yet he was gaining on the psychologist who was still fighting to move against the invisible field.

"Sorry, but I know from experience not to take the word of a Doublespark. They all have one-track minds and egos to match. Whatever you want from me, once you take it I'll be worthless to you. You don't want me dead _now_, but after you get whatever it is you are looking for…" Asylink felt a certain level of foolishness for having a casual conversation with raving lunatic that had all the compassion of someone out to steal a soul, but then again he was one of Soundwave's contacts, so perhaps he was simply used to it.

Annoyance flickered in the seeker's tone. "**I tire of your noncompliance.**"

"I tire of your creepiness." Asylink muttered darkly. It was then that he recognized the sound of a charging gun. He turned to see Starscream leveling a weapon that he must have lifted off one of his comrades. Asylink prayed it was set on stun and braced himself, knowing full well that there was nowhere for him to go.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Soundwave straightened, pausing in mid-sentence. Immediately his sensors began pulling in readings from all over the base, analyzing and comparing the variations. There was definitely an anomaly in the western sector.

"Let me guess… Starscream?" Megatron asked flatly. When the communications officer did not respond, he stood grudgingly. "Judging by your silence, it requires attention."

"Only if you don't wish to locate a new psychologist," Soundwave said unconcernedly. "We may be short one in a few minutes."

Megatron smirked. "Then I fear we may have to go deprive a certain seeker of his fun." He stood. "Good timing too… boredom doesn't suit me."

"Affirmative." Soundwave led the way out the hall, still obtaining readings. Asylink's stress patterns were rising with every second. If he were closer, Soundwave could get a thought feed, but as it was… "I suggest we hurry. It would seem my colleague is being cornered."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"**This should not have taken this long,**" the voice whispered venomously. The air commander's form knelt beside an unconscious Asylink. He lifted the other mech's left arm and flipped open a panel in his wrist; it didn't take long to find the component. With precision, he removed the slim disk-like chip and replaced it with one from his own wrist: a superficial and needless feature in seekers. The only difference would be the fact that one was used as a telepathic memory device, and the other was simply blank space.

With a working component added to his system and with Dunamis' inherited knowledge of how to use it, the voice now possessed the ability to search his past for that piece of critical information he so needed. If he was lucky, it would be cycles before Asylink noticed the switch, plenty of time to find the information. The only problem would be hiding the change from Soundwave. Hopefully, the other telepath would be more concerned with Asylink's welfare.

The voice smiled indifferently down at the limp body of the psychologist, sprawled across the hall. Admittedly, Asylink had lost a considerable amount of his strength over the past millennia. That was one thing the voice could remember. Asylink's health had always been weak and had grown even weaker with passing time. It would not be long before his status as a threat diminished altogether. He'd be an easy mech to kill if the need arose.

Starscream's form straightened. Still smiling, the voice stood and slowly looked over his shoulder at the two newcomers, sensing hostility in their minds. "**There is nothing left for me to take from either of these sparks at the moment. You may reclaim them.**" It was all the voice could do not to lunge at the hated one right then and there, but he was no fool. He needed time and he needed resources. With a mock bow, he threw the borrowed gun at Megatron's feet and returned to the void.

The green slowly dissolved in the air commander's optics; he swayed and collapsed, barely catching himself on one knee.

"I was expecting that to be a little more entertaining." Megatron remarked. He turned to Soundwave. "I take it he's back to normal, as inappropriate a term as that may be."

"His stress patterns are leveling out, yes, but his energy is dangerously low." He switched his gaze to the psychologist. "Asylink is no better off. I suggest we call the Constructicons in from the brawl that seems to have started in the meeting room."

Megatron shrugged carelessly. "I hated that room anyway." He turned his attention to his second who was still kneeling warily on the floor, most likely suspecting a shot to be fired. Megatron sneered. "I'm not going to shoot you, if that's what you're waiting for."

Starscream's head snapped up, looking insubordinate. "How generous of you," he stammered coldly. All the same, he relaxed. "I suppose I have to answer for this as well."

"No," Megatron corrected. "I believe I would prefer Soundwave's to-the-point version to your distorted one."

Starscream's glare intensified, but he remarkably held his tongue.

"Though it would appear that it may be a while before your next tête-à-tête with our guest, seeing as to how you've shot him." Megatron smirked. "Soundwave will be taking over the sessions in the meantime." He turned to the communications officer. "Autobot activity has been low, and I believe that I can spare you from the battle field."

Soundwave nodded once. "Of course."

Starscream looked startled. "No!" he shouted too quickly.

The two mechs turned to him.

"I mean…" he could feel heat rising in his face. "He… the…" Starscream trailed off, not really wanting to say 'the voice hates you' in front of Megatron. Acknowledging that the other existed… that there was something controlling him… it was more than he could do.

"Your other part wants me deactivated, is that correct?" Soundwave said evenly.

"Yes." _Of course, _I _don't like you that much either…_

"Ah, but _you_ exercise self-control." Soundwave answered.

Starscream could have slapped himself. He was so low on energy, he had overlooked the fact that Soundwave _must_ be reading him right now. He felt his optics burn and erected all of his defensive mental barriers. Soundwave leaned back slightly at the sudden force, and Starscream could feel the last traces of telepathy leave his mind.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream sat in perfect darkness, disturbed only by the thin line of light from a datapad left on the other side of the room. Skywarp and Thundercracker had left to give him privacy (Skywarp rather unwillingly) after being filled in on what had happened. He assumed they'd gone to the mess hall. A part of him hoped they thought to bring him back some highgrade; at the same time, he hoped they stayed away long enough for him to think everything through.

_**Activate it…**_ the voice was whispering enticingly in his head, but Starscream was reluctant to comply.

The voice had told him about the component and what it was meant to do, but there was still the matter of trusting the creature. Hadn't he only just hours ago taken over his body despite Starscream's efforts against him? _**Only to save your life!**_ Yes, the voice had saved him… no, wait. That wasn't really true. Motormaster and his goons had been occupied with the influx of other Decepticons. He hadn't really been in danger…

_**I am the will needed to insure our future. You cannot keep me away for long.**_ "I can sure as hell try," Starscream murmured into the darkness. _**If you will not activate it, I will force you!**_ "Try it. I dare you to." Splotches of color danced in front of the air commander's eyes, and a pressure struck with incredible force against his temples. Starscream shuddered and doubled over amidst the static sound that filled his mind. It was all he could do to keep from falling sideways off his perch in the windowsill. "I won't let you control me…"

_**You already have, and that ground, once given can never be reclaimed.**_

Starscream fell backwards, balanced against the bend in the wall. Little by little his strength ebbed away, replaced by the frozen sanctuary of the void.


	10. Chapter 10 First Betrayal

This entire chapter is flashbacks, so I saw no reason to put it in italics. In my opinion italics are annoying to read for long periods of time, and I didn't want to do that to you guys.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

File 000020133

31/6/3000 19:31:33

Pass code: 17839964

Access Denied.

Pass code: 17839864

Access Denied.

Pass code: 17839863

Access Granted.

The first few weeks after Skywarp entered Dire were the best in my memory. I had always been alone and hidden, and now I had a companion. True, there had been moments when his carelessness had almost led to our being discovered, but as time passed he became more and more accustomed to the tunnel system through Dire's walls. I became very attached to the other flyer, whom I looked upon as a brother.

The most beneficial part of my newfound friendship, however, had yet to show itself.

Skywarp lifted his arms in an all-encompassing stretch. "How come I've got to drink that stuff? It tastes horrible, Starscream."

I sighed and repeated the same answer I'd give half a dozen times that day. "Because Dunamis will notice if any of the good stuff is taken."

His pout was interrupted by another thought. "Hey… Screamer?" Skywarp asked timidly, his expression changing.

I cringed at the nickname. "Yeah?"

"Um… when are you going to tell Dunamis about me?"

My optics shut off as my mind traversed the familiar path. I wasn't sure why I was working so hard to keep Skywarp a secret, but whenever I considered confiding in my creator, my spark froze. There was something there. I was sure of it. Some hidden reason… but that was ridiculous. Why would I want to keep secrets from Dunamis? He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Of that, at least, I was sure. _I must just be dreading admitting that I've been doing things behind his back._ _That's all_. "Soon, Skywarp… soon."

Skywarp grinned. "That's great. I can't wait to finally meet him."

I smiled weakly. "Yeah… great."

Skywarp peered out of the nearby vent into the room beyond, still grinning. "Look at all that energon…" He looked back to me. "Please, Screamer? Can't we get some? I hate that scrap I've been getting…"

I shook my head decisively. "No. You'll be seen for sure."

Skywarp bit his lip, optics narrowing. Then light burned in his optics in the sudden and rapid way that I had come to associate with Skywarp having a slightly dangerous and altogether reckless plan. "They won't see. Don't worry. I haven't perfected it yet, but…" He nodded resolutely.

Needless to say, I didn't like that look. "Skywarp… what are you doing?"

His grin turned roguish. "Something wild… you'll love it!" And with that he pushed hard on the vent, catching it as it fell. Then he was gone. Literally. The vent seemed to float back into place, but Skywarp was no where to be seen.

I stared, dumbfounded. Where was he?! I stifled a gasp. Across the room (the mess hall to be exact) two energon cubes lifted themselves off the table and made their way back to the vent utterly unnoticed. The vent snapped off and then replaced itself.

With the sound of air displacing, Skywarp reappeared. I stared at him, and he smiled sheepishly before handing me one of the cubes. "I can't really do it that well. I'm supposed to actually teleport, not just turn invisible… I suppose I won't be able to do it right until I'm a little older."

"Not do it right?!" I asked incredulously, gaping at him. "You can slagging turn invisible! That's good enough for me! Why didn't you tell me you could do that?"

"Well… I've only ever done it a few times. And never for that long. It wasn't very useful…"

"Wait…" I stopped him, fixing on the previous sentences. "You did that without knowing if you could? You just walked in there without knowing how long it would last? What if you'd been seen?!"

Skywarp shrugged. "You worry too much. I knew it would work this time… I really wanted this energon." He toasted me and drank. "Besides," he added a few seconds later. "When I get good enough… I can take you with me."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A decade later:

File 000030147

25/2/3001 29:31:24

Pass code: 1783986302

Access Granted.

Ten years. Ten long and contented years. Skywarp had, as he suggested, been able to improve his power of teleportation over the months after I found out. And once he did, I was able to join him for the first time outside the walls of Dire. I was no longer restricted to the confinements Dunamis set out for me.

I had long since convinced myself that that was the reason for my secrets, a reason for concealing my new life from my creator. I had not yet discovered the subconscious…the will and memories I had buried. Pain upon pain.

It had begun just like any other day. I awoke to Dunamis' absence and let Skywarp in through the wall corridors. We were planning on another excursion to the city ruins, where we could truly be free among other mechs who were just as desperate and searching as we were. If we were lucky, refugees from far away city-states joined the numbers of the underground full of stories from the quickly spreading war… stories of the Decepticons who had risen up from the depths of revolution to take control… tales of battles and power, manipulation and betrayals. Skywarp and I were fascinated by them. We often spoke of joining the ranks, but I couldn't leave Dunamis. He was my life, my sanctuary. He was the one person I could trust. So while the Decepticon stories dominated Skywarp's mind and dreams, I merely saw them as a welcome fantasy: intoxicating but unattainable.

Skywarp laughed. "So when are we heading out?"

I smiled. "As soon as you want to, but have some energon here first. You remember what happened last time you took a glass someone offered you in the ruins…"

Skywarp grumbled and picked up a cube. "Well I had fun, nonetheless."

I stiffened. Something felt wrong. A desperate anxiety pulsed throughout my body. My lips parted in silent scream of disbelief. I spun around, optics wide and fearful. "Dunamis…" I heard Skywarp's energon cube drop with a clatter behind me. I stumbled backwards away from the silhouette in the doorway, shaking. "I… I…"

My creator smiled emotionlessly. His optics calculated the scene with precision, leaving no doubt that he knew exactly what he saw. Those same optics lit up with a depth I could now recognize as cruelty. His smile grew charming, so much so that I was at a loss for words and could merely shy away. "Starscream…"

My optics rose to meet his, slowly. I wanted to disappear in his gaze, to take back anything I had done to displease him. "I…"

Dunamis' hand rose with a haunting grace.

Pain erupted in mind with an intensity that scalded. I screamed. An acidic wave of terror and desperation washed over me. I sank to my knees, optics blank and staring, unable to think of anything other than Dunamis and how I had betrayed him. My fingers rose to clutch my head, willing it to all stop.

"Stop! You're killing him!"

I gasped feebly, a mere pause in my screams. "Sky – Skywarp…" The smaller seeker rammed Dunamis, who simply knocked him away. But now my creator's attention was split. Hand still raised in my direction he turned to leer at Skywarp. I saw a small object fall away from Dunamis' waist where Skywarp had struck; it clattered to the floor. With a soft laugh, Dunamis used his free hand to clasp Skywarp's throat.

No.

Skywarp choked and flailed, but it was no use. The other mech was too strong. Dunamis whispered something to the other seeker. Skywarp's screams joined mine in an eerie unison.

_No…_

Dunamis swiped the hand devoted to me and the pain left me with a sudden suction. He slammed Skywarp against the wall, fingers cutting into his thin armor. He laughed again as the seeker's shrieks were choked by the energon filling his mouth. His optics dimmed and faltered.

"No!"

Dunamis smirked over his shoulder. "Stay out of this Starscream." His grip on Skywarp tightened once again. The seeker's hands went slack.

I looked on in horror. Why was Dunamis…? I took a few steps forward and crumpled once again. "No…" My hands stretched out in front of me.

My fingers closed with a forbidden familiarity around the object Skywarp had dislodged from Dunamis.

Skywarp's screams became piercing. I could feel them inside me with a tenacity that left me numb. I looked up blearily and met the seeker's optics just before they went black.

Dunamis' optics darkened to a malicious garnet and his smile grew finer as he determined to make the kill.

"NO!"

I was one my feet and behind him without knowing I'd gotten there, hand stretched outwards. In an instant a near deafening silence took over the room. Skywarp slumped to the floor, falling from my creator's slackened grip.

Dunamis stumbled backwards, smile still plastered on as he faced me. He clutched at the flowing wound that had pierced through his back and out of his chest. I lowered the gun, unable to believe what I'd done. "You… really are… my masterpiece… Starscream."

I was shaking, mind stalled as Dunamis hit the floor. I looked down at my body, coated with the energon of my creator. _I killed Dunamis… I killed him. _My lips repeated the words, but they made no sense. I could taste energon splatter in my mouth, energon that was _his _not mine, and it still didn't make sense. "I loved him… trusted him… and−"

"And he nearly killed you, Starscream. He nearly killed me. You did the only thing you could do." Skywarp's hand closed over my shoulder. I looked up into my friend's face, still shaking and desperate to take the shot back.

But I couldn't. And… and…

I felt all of my misery and torment fall away. A new, foreign emotion invaded my systems: Hatred._ He betrayed me… I had every right to betray him._ The notion was like a wine, and as it entered my mind I felt no remorse. How I managed to do so in such a short amount of time, I'll never know, but in that single seemingly insignificant moment I hated Dunamis as much as I had ever loved him.

"Skywarp…" I started, marveling in the difference in my tone. "Are you ready to teleport, for real? Because I was thinking… I would really love to disappear completely. And I think I know the perfect place." I smiled a smile that mirrored Dunamis. "Do you still have a taste for war?"


	11. Chapter 11 Unwelcome Insight

Out of flashback mode. This chapter is the original copy's chapter 11 and 12 combined. There will be an entirely new chapter 12.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream sat up with a groan. "What…" A hand clapped him on the shoulder.

Thundercracker smiled. "I'm guessing that you had a rough day."

Starscream surveyed his surroundings to find that he was no longer in the window sill, but on the recharge bunk. "Did you move me?"

"Well, I figured the floor was less than comfortable… that and you were thrashing around like nobody's business. Bad dream?" Thundercracker looked genuinely concerned, and unless Starscream was imagining it, like he knew the truth.

_I wish it was a dream._ "Yeah, but I'm fine now. Where's 'Warp?" Starscream found it hard to believe that the missing wingmate would have left him if he was in that kind of condition.

Thundercracker laughed. "He got called out on a mission. I had to practically drag him out of the room."

Starscream was silent, still dwelling in the past. "I… um…"

"Look, you don't have to tell me. Unlike Skywarp, I understand the concept of 'personal'. Besides… you're already almost an hour late for your session with Soundwave."

Starscream stiffened. "Excuse me? Oh right, Asylink got shot… I still don't understand why he wouldn't have recovered enough by now."

"Well, he _is_ a Neutral. Maybe our technology isn't fit for his specs or something." Thundercracker shrugged. "Listen… Rumble and Crow just came by a few minutes ago to see why it was taking you so long, and I really think that you should get going. You and Soundwave have never really been on the best of terms, and now he has control – although temporary – over your evaluation. Making him angry is not something I'd advise."

Starscream laughed dryly and stood. "I already have, remember? I apparently shot up two of his _precious_ cassettes." He shook his head as he walked out the door, waving casually over his shoulder. What he needed now was discretion and his remarkable ability to act confident when he was really scared out of his wits.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Asylink surveyed his surroundings groggily. "Where the pit…?"

"You're in the medical ward. Just stay down so I don't have to knock you out again. It has become very apparent that you don't have a fetish for needles." Bonecrusher chuckled.

Asylink smiled knowingly. "It's pointy things in general, and guns, and just about everything that could cause me personal harm. Pain and I don't go well together."

Bonecrusher nodded, momentarily distracted by the readings on a datapad. "Understandable." He looked up, studying the psychologist before pulling up a chair to sit beside the recharge berth. "You didn't inform my colleagues and me that you had any medical conditions. This was stupid. We could have killed you by accident while we were trying to patch you up. Don't you have any common sense?" It was obvious that Bonecrusher was miffed, but Asylink's personality left little room for necessary tact.

"That's why I don't like being shot." Asylink answered matter-of-factly.

Bonecrusher tilted his head, unsure if the mech was being serious, and then decided he didn't care. "Whatever." He craned his neck to look in the room opposite and called out, "Hey! He's awake. You can come in now… you little miscreant," he added sourly.

Crow walked into the room with his arms crossed and paused at the foot of Asylink's recharge berth. He looked at Bonecrusher expectantly.

"Hmm? Oh, right." The Constructicon stood, stretched, and left the room with the air of someone who had all the time in the world.

Crow watched to make sure he was really gone and then leapt up onto the bed and threw his arms around Asylink's neck. He pulled back and looked at his creator accusingly.

Asylink smiled brightly. "If I'd known that I would be shot at, I wouldn't have gone. I promise. But… shouldn't you be assisting Soundwave?"

Crow's optics narrowed, in obvious contempt of working with the Decepticon telepath who he had decided was stingy and conniving.

Asylink leaned back against the frame of the berth, exasperated. "Crow, I know you don't like him, but fact is I do. And I want to help him as much as possible with Starscream's case… unless it concerns sending the air commander to Dire out of simple dislike. Give him access to the files that..." Asylink paused, considering. "On second thought, don't bother with limitations. I can backtrack his steps after the session and see if he read anything I should worry about. Give him total access. And don't," he looked at Crow in a patronizing manner, "sabotage anything."

Crow put on a look of mock offense.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It had been minutes, minutes of simply staring at each other in distaste. Starscream felt that it had been long enough. He sneered. "Are you planning on actually doing your job, or are you going to just sit there and hope I burst into flames?"

"Eloquent as ever, Starscream." Soundwave's voice was smooth and superior.

Starscream could tell, very clearly and without a trace of doubt, that this simply wasn't going to work. "I know that you would much rather be playing sycophant to our great leader, and I assure you that I would rather be anywhere else, but fact remains that neither of us can leave until this session is over. So let's just… play nice… and hope for the better."

"Affirmative." Soundwave scrolled through Asylink's notes as they appeared on Crow's screen. In bold letters was the word he supposed was meant to consolidate the purpose of the current session: motives. "I will not dodge the subject or soften the truths as it is clear Asylink has. I do not possess the patience for such courtesy." He faced Starscream squarely. "A Doublespark exists for one purpose and one alone: a dream that will not be sacrificed no matter the cost or casualties. You and I both know what that dream is. You and I both know where your loyalties lie; you are concerned only with self-preservation and self-promotion."

Starscream smiled pleasantly. "Just like any other self-respecting Decepticon."

"Ah, yes… but you, my _comrade,_ are insane." Soundwave put it bluntly with barely a pause in his speech. "I know what possesses you; I know what dwells inside your mind. In case you have forgotten, I have been inside it."

Starscream winced.

"You are, and forever will be, a traitor. The only causes you have ever believed in are the ones that bolstered you through the ranks and eventually granted you the position you fill now." Soundwave spread his arms in a motion of sarcastic grandeur. "Second in command of the Decepticon forces, the _Empire_ of all empires… And still, you are not satisfied. You are cursed with a thirst for power that overrules all other desires in your circuitry."

_He's wanted to get this out for a long time,_ Starscream thought bitterly. But amidst the sarcasm was resentment. There was fear for the words that effortlessly left Soundwave's mouth. It was a truth. A truth he had long since accepted, but now felt would bring his fragilely erected world crashing around him. "I don't want to hear your slagging judgments Soundwave." The seeker's voice was quiet at first, but rising. "I don't know what you're trying to prove, but I swear to you, if I −"

Soundwave cut across him, voice steady and acerbic with an icy unfeeling precision. "You are being literally possessed by your _ambition_. And it will kill you if you do not control it. Starscream… Starscream, are you listening to me?"

Starscream felt heat build in his systems. Anger played murder in his voice as he spoke. "Leave. Me. The. Slag. Alone. You don't know what you are talking about."

Soundwave laughed, a deep and hollow sound. "I am a telepath, air commander. I know the mind. I know _your_ mind. And it is a suicidal mass of illogical chaos. I should have realized the potential for this to happen. I should have recommended your execution the moment I knew your past… the moment you stood before Megatron for the first time." Starscream could imagine the cold ire behind Soundwave's mask as he said those words, "But I did not. And it is too late for such action. So I must now deal with the fallout."

_**Kill him, kill him now. He is the only piece blocking the destruction of the hated one. Kill him now! **_"I'm leaving." Starscream stood, faltering under the weight of the voice's… of _his_ ambitions. A blood lust filled him to the brim, threatening to rip him apart from the inside if he did not act upon it. He staggered towards the door and somehow, with the grace of Primus, made it through.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_**Why?! Why didn't you act when I commanded it?!**_

Why hadn't he indeed? What was there to have stopped him? Why _shouldn't_ he have taken the vengeance he deserved now more than ever? Starscream struggled briefly with the voice's logic in a sort of mental grapple. _I… I have many reasons, but I believe only two of them would matter to you: one, Soundwave was armed, I was not; two, once Soundwave knew I was trying to deactivate him, he would have sent a transmission to Megatron warning him of my hostility. Megatron would have been on guard, WAITING for my treachery… not that that's really different than normal,_ the seeker added bitterly._ If we are going to take the two of them out, it will have to be at the same time._ Starscream didn't add that Soundwave was probably the only one who could help him get rid of the voice; Asylink simply was not getting results. Besides… Soundwave's telepathy made Asylink's look like an etch-a-sketch.

Possessed by ambition…

Hadn't he always been? Hadn't ambition always been his driving force? No, he supposed that wasn't true. He hadn't had dreams of power until he met Megatron. Perhaps his induction into the Decepticon army had been the 'drastic change in personality' Asylink said was needed in order to be Doublesparked. But then why hadn't the hatred he had felt for Dunamis done the same thing? Starscream brought his hands up to either side of his head, as if maybe the pressure could drive away the onslaught of confusion. He entered his rooms intent on lying down, but found that Thundercracker and Skywarp were there waiting for him.

"Hey Screamer! How'd it… Screamer?" Skywarp stood warily. "Are you okay?"

Thundercracker took one look at his wingmate and knew the answer to that question. He strode forward, placing both hands on the air commander's shoulders. "What did he say to you? What the _slag_ did he say?"

Starscream looked away. "Am … Ambition. The voice is my ambition."

Thundercracker's optics narrowed. "That isn't what's wrong. You told us yourself that you'd guessed ambition was the answer. There's something else."

"No." Starscream said flatly. "There isn't."

Thundercracker studied his wingmate carefully. "Fine. If you don't want to tell us," Starscream averted his eyes again, "then I'll find out on my own." He sidestepped Starscream and left the room, the door hissing shut behind him.

"Thundercracker! Wait!" Starscream let the hand he had outstretched drop feebly. _**Let him. It is of no importance.**_ Starscream shook his head and felt his mind drift to consider something he had been thinking of steadily for the past few days, always in the time when the voice was least active. But now that he was sure of the voice's purpose, there were no reasons to conceal it. He felt the voice hum slightly, as if it knew where Starscream's thoughts would end up. _Earlier you said you were looking for a memory we had lost. You said you had plans. I believe I know what they are. __**Yes…**_

Starscream abruptly turned to face the still standing Skywarp. "I need you to remember something…" _**This is not necessary! I already have collected the data.**_ Starscream continued. "When… after I… after Dunamis died…"

Skywarp stiffened visibly.

"…We were going to teleport ourselves out immediately, but you suggested we take some energon with us just in case… you went off to take some from the mess hall, so… I was left in the room alone. Wasn't I?"

"Y- Yeah, I guess. Why…?"

Starscream felt his spark sink. "Can you leave? I need to think some things through, and I do that best when I'm alone."

"But…" Skywarp looked uncomfortable, and Starscream knew that leaving was the last thing he wanted to do. Still looking slightly confused and uneasy, Skywarp nodded. "Yeah. Sure." He walked forward, pausing for a moment when he drew even with Starscream, and then left the room.

_That's what you needed the memory device for… you couldn't remember it all._ _You needed to see the sequence a second time. _Starscream crossed the room to sit at his desk. He stared at the computer in front of him in slight trepidation of what he was about to do. _**Yes… this is where it starts.**_ The voice's tone was riddled with expectancy. Starscream's fingers hovered above the key board, unsure if he really wanted to continue. The results, of course, would be wondrous, but the means of getting that far… was he really that twisted?

Yes.

The screen in front of him now showed Dire's schematics, complete with a list of inmates and their respective cells. Personal information was not included. Starscream's spark pulsed irregularly. _**Take what is yours.**_ The last traces of doubt and self-control left him. What did he care as long as his dreams of power were achieved? What did he care who was sacrificed as long as he had supremacy? In an instant the decision was made. Starscream typed in Dunamis' newly acquired access codes.

Security feature after security feature was shot down in an instant, leaving Dire and all of its inhabitants completely in the hands of the Decepticon Empire's second-in-command. _**And now, it is time to awaken your new army.**__ How will I control them? __**Leave that to the precautions taken by your dear departed creator. They will follow you, don't fret.**__ Some kind of command mechanism? __**For all intents and purposes, yes. The personnel will have to be taken care of, of course. Starting with that fool Asylink**_**.** Starscream nodded briskly, and got down to the matter at hand. He had always enjoyed hacking… although with Dunamis' access codes, the only place he would need that skill was when it came to Asylink's files. Starscream smiled. This was going to be easy.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Soundwave pondered the intelligence behind his earlier outburst. Setting the traitorous seeker off was not something he particularly wanted to do. It was simply so aggravating that this could have all been avoided with a little foresight. And not just this one incident… what of all Starscream's betrayals? How different would this war be without the constant treachery?

There would have been less stress on Soundwave's part that was for sure. But then again, Starscream hadn't always been a power-hungry conspirator. When he had first joined the ranks, he had been different… determined, loyal, clever, eager to develop his skills…

… Eager to impress Megatron…

He had, in those early years, looked to the conqueror with something akin to hero-worship. Where had it all gone wrong? Soundwave knew the answer to that question before the question was through being turned into a thought. In truth there were many answers, but the main ones, the ones that caused the lasting damage were the most easily spoken of… Megatron had paid close attention to the soldier who was tearing his way through the ranks with an enthusiasm that was unexpected, Soundwave could even go so far as to say he had taken a personal interest. Then two things happened: one, Starscream reached the post of second-in-command, therefore hitting the proverbial glass wall… he could go no further; two, the ideals and philosophies Megatron had drilled into the seeker over the years told him that he wanted more. More power, more control, ultimate supremacy. The position held by the mech he had idolized for so long.

Admiration turned to Jealousy. Jealousy turned to Hurt. Hurt turned to Resentment. Resentment turned to Rivalry… and Rivalry turned to Hatred.

The result? A power-hungry, treacherous, conniving, and altogether murderous seeker by the name of Starscream. _I forgot insane,_ Soundwave thought bemused. _Truth be told, I probably could have handled this whole ordeal differently. Was I perhaps too hasty in my judgment? _Soundwave paused in his incessant typing. _No, ridiculous! I would not make such a grievous mistake. Then again, if something does happen… something that could allow Starscream to make good on his ambitions… who would he go after first? Me, of course. He can't reach Megatron without getting rid of me. More often than not, I am the downfall to his schemes. He forgets the abilities of a telepath!_

"Soundwave?"

The communications officer looked up from the computer screen. "Yes Thundercracker?" The seeker was standing in the doorway looking upright and stern. Soundwave smirked underneath his mask. "If this is about your wingmate's session…"

"What in Primus' name did you say to him?"

Soundwave's tone became offhand. "The truth, in its infinite entirety." He trailed off.

Thundercracker strode forwards and slammed him fists down on the desk. "I swear if I find out you are trying to sabotage him…"

Soundwave laughed coolly. "I never thought I'd here a threat from _you_, Thundercracker. Your wingmate must be off his guard indeed."

Thundercracker's face softened. "I want him to back to the way he was… without a raving voice in his head, without having to fight to be in control of his own damn body." Thundercracker straightened, hands back at his sides. "I am personally amazed he didn't kill you." With that sentence hanging in the air, Thundercracker left, heading in the direction of the nearest strong drink.


End file.
